Filed under: If Artist X painted Celebrity X, Keira Knightley
French Post-Impressionist painter Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was fond of capturing the lively images of decadent Parisian nightlife during the late 19th-century. Much of his inspiration was found inside the numerous nightclubs, cabarets, circuses and brothels in the bohemian Montmartre section of Paris. Some of my favorite works are the advertising posters he created for various Montmartre performers such as Yvette Guilbert, Jane Avril and Aristide Bruant. No doubt Lautrec would recoil in horror over what passes as creative decadence in much of modern day Hollywood, but I think he might have enjoyed painting the very skeletal and curiously grimacing Keira Frightly Knightley sauntering down the red carpet. As I mentioned, Lautrec found inspiration in circus performances…a concept not much different from red carpet events. Medium: gouache on paper.
Posted by 14 ♦ July 31, 2006
At 10:54 am d. c. said:
You got this one on the money! Bravo
July 31, 2006
At 11:07 am Pablo Vazquez said:
Im the first! ,not only i love your work i also enjoy it. Very happy of find your page 14..keep working making fun of the celebrity’s life style..(Your vision of the the american princess/heiress Paris R the best)
luv ya!
July 31, 2006
At 11:11 am La Goulue said:
NICE one! Can’t that girl ever shut her mouth? I mean, no food is going in, and she probably doesn’t need to breathe through it, so why is it always hanging open?
Lautrec rules!!!!! And so do you, Miz Quatorze!
July 31, 2006
At 11:44 am Demon Kitty said:
I am so in love with Keira Knightly. I think she is so beautiful. The actual picture you linked to is horrifying though. It looks like someone gutted her cleavage. Did you see the picture at “Go Fug Yourself” where she literally took a belt and wrapped it around her tits? I am going to stop here. I have such difficulty controlling myself at this site.
Demon Kitty
July 31, 2006
At 12:14 pm DonnaJEM said:
Her mouth is always open because she’s starving herself. So with her big teeth and shrinking skin, her mouth has no choice.
Never thought much of her one way or the other until I saw that horrid pic of her on the red carpet. Yikes, someone PLEASE throw her a sandwich!
Great rendition 14!
July 31, 2006
angel
At 1:45 pm angel said:
perfect.
July 31, 2006
At 3:09 pm Elizebeth said:
I absolutely LOVE your artwork. You capture the essence of a celebrity in all you do, it’s fantastic!
I’ve never seen anything like this and I’m always thrilled to come here and see something new.
Thank you.
July 31, 2006
At 3:18 pm Lala said:
the mouth is a perfect representation of what her mouth shape is. Brilliant!!!
July 31, 2006
ab
At 4:08 pm ab said:
the hands are a perfect detail. they are knarly and frightening. a little bit like being as slim as she is…
July 31, 2006
Dave Hater
At 8:43 pm Dave Hater said:
I bet she is looking sideways at Reese Witherspoon’s abdomen and thinking BABY! The OTHER WHITE MEAT! GET. IN. MA. BELLY!!!!
Just sayin’.
July 31, 2006
At 10:11 pm Viper Tetsu said:
“Anorexia runs in my family, but I don’t suffer from it.” Yeah, sure. And Paris Hilton is dropping the jet-set life to become a Buddhist monk in the mountains of Tibet.
Here’s some irony: I think this young woman is utterly charming on the inside…but you’ve really got to look past the skeletal exterior.
Another melifluous blend of Yipes and satiric bite. Huzzah!
July 31, 2006
Anonymous
At 11:18 pm Anonymous said:
bahaha you have sadly captured her PERFECTLY!!
July 31, 2006
At 2:54 am Katie said:
I think I love you - you’re the perfect balance of art, insight, satire, and gossip.
August 1, 2006
At 7:04 am Noelegy said:
We saw the second “Pirates” movie Sunday night and watched the first one again last night. Keira seemed nowhere near this state of distress, physiologically speaking. She looked slim but healthy. She is such a beautiful young woman whose star is rising; why court this kind of negative publicity? Even if she isn’t anorexic, why wear clothes that call attention to her less-than-attractive physical attributes? Doesn’t she have SOMEONE who can tell her, “Look, you’re going to scare people” when she gets dressed and looks like that?
As for the mouth open all the time, I observed in the first “Pirates” movie that she seems to have one of those mouths where her lips are full enough that they don’t come together closed over her teeth without conscious effort on her part. The most egregious example of this would be the girl who played the human interest in the remake of “Planet of the Apes.” You had to wonder if she sucked in a few bugs from time to time.
August 1, 2006
At 7:05 am Noelegy said:
I forgot to add: brilliant artwork! You have an excellent grasp of individual artists’ styles. I’d like to see you take on someone in Modigliani style sometime.
August 1, 2006
At 9:58 am Gabriel said:
Fantastic job on Keira Knightley. Wasn’t Anthony Lane who said that Keira reminded him of the mother alien from the “Alien” movies? Same underbite.
August 1, 2006
At 10:22 am spo. said:
you’re brilliant, i’m a huge fan, but it’s “le” and not “la” squelette.
August 1, 2006
At 10:29 am Tamara Ikenberg said:
Brilliant!
You captured the skeletal smug of the Fugga Frightley deliciously!
She looks kind of like Wallace from Wallace and Gromit with the toothy teethiness.
Tamara
August 1, 2006
14
At 10:48 am 14 said:
Thanks for the comments everyone! Yeah, I know it’s “Le Squelette” instead of “La Squelette”, but 14 logic dictates that if the Skeleton is female, then the “LE” should be “LA”. yep. : )
xoxo
14
August 1, 2006
At 11:53 am Long Island Irish said:
Good drawing 14!
It’s such a shame, Keira is beautiful–seriously she has one of the most lovely faces in movies today. She is WAY to skinny though.
How many people here think she would be one of the best looking women in the world if she had a fuller body? Bones are not sexy!
August 1, 2006
At 2:02 pm Morrigan said:
Talented and smart… definitely. I hope poor Keira can get some help.
It’s a wonderful and yet too sadly truthful painting. I just can’t laugh at it.
August 1, 2006
At 2:15 pm Barb said:
Hahaha, brilliant! You captured her in a way I see her almost on a daily basis. The image reminds me of the skeletons from El Dia de Los Muertos. I think I saw one that looked just like her hanging in someone’s house. Hmmm. However, I do wish she would eat something. This trend needs to end (I’m assuming it’s a trend).
August 1, 2006
At 2:24 pm trafficgurl said:
YOU HAVE CAPTURED HER MOUTH TO A TEE!! I AM A HUGE FAN…YOU ARE BEYOND TALENTED!
August 1, 2006
At 11:04 pm theidlereceptionist said:
HEE HEE!!! I love your attention to the mouth and coat rack jutty outty lips!
And Tits McGee in the background was a nice touch…
August 1, 2006
At 11:39 pm cherise said:
eeeeeeeeeeww! That picture of her on GFY is scary! With her paleness, saggy skin and bones she looks like a walking corpse! And I can’t understand why she always has to be doing some sorta thing with her mouth n lips. That having been said, you’re spot on with your depiction of her!
August 1, 2006
At 7:14 pm Javelin said:
hahaha sooo awesome! she has been bugging me more and more lately with that stupid- grotesque- grizzy grin of hers. every time i see it i just want to shove my boot in her mouth and say “see, that’s why your mama told you to shut it.”
August 3, 2006
Frisky Shadowridge
At 1:25 pm Frisky Shadowridge said:
I guess I can understand how girls like Keira Knightly, Kate Bosworth and others transform from seemingly smart, beautiful, healthy young women into little bobbleheads who can’t even acknowledge the fact that they’re starving despite the bones poking through their Prada. The skinny is better attitude is everywhere, and I’m sure its the only thing being rammed down their throats. I just saw a newsphoto from a fundraiser in the Hamptons selling designer clothing where the sign on a rack of clothes said “Do not try clothes on if you’re not a size 0, 2 or 4.” As if some disgustingly huge size 6 might dare to rip a seam?
August 5, 2006
At 3:21 pm desnizzle said:
Absolutely awesome — and TRUE! Someone get this bony joanie a ham sandwich… with cheese! I actually thought of Egon Schiele when I saw your illustration of K-Night. I know you’ve used Schiele as inspiration for some of your other works. Keep it up — I love all your pieces and spread the word regularly for people to visit the Gallery.
August 11, 2006
At 9:19 am Blondi said:
OMG. I am an art student in DC, and last year was interviewed by the Diplomat concerning my opinions over the National Gallery’s Lautrec exhibit.
The part thats actually interesting? I could SWEAR I saw this painting hanging in there. I don’t think many have commented on the fidelity to the artist, but DAMN, you have captured his style so effing well that if someone showed me this painting and lied, saying that Lautrec had painted it, I would believe them. I would effing believe them.
GREAT work. You are so freaking amazing. I bow to you n___n;;
August 12, 2006
tessi
At 11:56 pm tessi said:
dig the date…mayan calendar ends
August 12, 2006
At 5:57 am Elizabeth said:
Bloody genious.
August 13, 2006
At 2:03 am dkeira said:
Vous êtes jaloux parce qu’elle est jolie c’est tout !!
August 24, 2006
Carol
At 5:38 am Carol said:
Keira has shapely legs and one of the prettiest faces, just because her upper part is skinny with a or b cups whatever, doesn’t mean that she’s anorexic or gross looking, leave beautiful people alone.
August 24, 2006
Anonymous
At 8:24 pm Anonymous said:
Way overexagerated. Keira said she would love to be curvy and eats a lot and doesn’t exercice and nothing. There are women who are just build with lean and toned bodies. Plus, she’s beautiful and talanted and does not look like this (no bones are sticking out of her), so this is in no way funny. She’s gorgeous. It’s gotta be a woman who drew this.
October 23, 2006
bigboy
At 8:25 pm bigboy said:
Reese Witherspoon is one uglyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy bitch. Someone said her name. And it’s just…she’s repulsing and annoying and a bad actress. I had to say it.
October 23, 2006
alissa
At 7:22 am alissa said:
two posts above is right. if you look closely, her rump and legs aren’t nearly skeletal. she’s just unfortunately pear shaped. i think she’S beautiful anyway. and i also love your art.
December 5, 2006
At 3:17 pm laurent said:
hey!! I like ur job! it’s funny!! you should do more!
by the way i’m french and in french we don’t say “la squelette” but ” le squelette “! well it doesn’t matter!
keep up!
January 6, 2007
At 3:18 pm laurent said:
oops i’ve just seen u knew that! sorry
January 6, 2007
At 6:01 am Lisa said:
Hello,
this picture is very nice, I like it.
It isn’t so far-fetched because I have seen a interview with Keira Knightley and there she almost looks like on this picture.
As an performer I like her very much but it couldn’t be healthy to be so thin. If she weigh a little bit more she would look better and it would be healthy.
She always opens her mouth and she always presents her beautiful teeth. Maybe she does it unconsciously and she doesn’t want it….
February 7, 2007
At 9:41 pm Rodrigo Jiménez said:
Great illustration.
and the date? The last Baktun
February 13, 2007
At 9:19 am ER said:
Another hideous troll in all ways. Keira Knightley believes that everyone should cowtow to her every need. FIX THOSE FUCKING BRITISH TEETH. YOU HAVE MONEY NOW!
March 23, 2007
Peta
At 6:56 pm Peta said:
I know Keira is the subject of this piece, but I couldn’t help snickering at the woman in the background with breasts bigger than both her and her date’s heads. It presents the perfect Hollywood contrast: you’re either a waif slightly heavier than a grain of dust or an artificially well-racked girl.
I hope a super skinny actress gets Double Ds soon. I’d love to see how you’d render that.
April 17, 2007
Needswork
At 9:46 pm Needswork said:
This painting is kinda funny but needs work. And all you Keira haters out there are pretty stupid to judge her so quickly. She’s not forcing you to watch her movies or what not and her weight is perfectly healthy. I guess being a hater has the extra burden of also being idiots which you fools do very well. So congrats to all you morons and the painter. You proved nothing.
July 28, 2007
theloser
At 9:11 am theloser said:
The person who painted this crap has to be a woman. Only a jealous artist/actress wannabe would paint this showing her true jealousy towards Keira. The fact is Keira is nothing like this at all and is over exaderated. Either that or she has to be the most vain Superficial bitch out there.
July 29, 2007
At 5:45 pm b said:
I have to mention it too! Reese has the weirdest chin and no lips. She always reminded me of a baby chick. You know, like Tweety Bird, bulbus forehead and large eyes combined with her Wicked Witch of the West chin and zero lips makes her look like a cartoon character. I think she’s overrated. She’s good in the Johnny Cash movie because she is a hillbilly person. What’s so hard about acting like yourself! Just like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous. What’s so hard about acting like like a spoiled, pampered, un-inhibited, drug smoking, rock and roll groupy when that’s pretty much just acting like yourself. You can bet she’ll never get another Oscar in her career. Both her and Reese were total flooks. Unless they make a movie entitled, ” The Rock n’ Roll Beverly Hillbillys” HA
January 28, 2008