Filed under: Tabloid Tactics
A ubiquitous feature in most all the gossip tabloids is a page of quotes uttered by various celebs. Most the quotes are laughable. A photo of a sickly skeletal starlet will appear next to the wisdom she dished out the press, “I’m not anorexic, I eat junk food all the time and never work out. I’m naturally thin.” Sometimes it appears the editors enjoy having a little fun with this feature. InTouch magazine recently printed this quote by Cameron Diaz. Was it a calculated decision to find the greasiest photo ever taken of Ms. Diaz and then place it next to her quote? Hmmmm, I wonder.
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Many thanks to the Courier-Journal for the ruthless interrogation. Read the article here.
Posted by 14 ♦ July 19, 2006
james
At 11:04 am james said:
what. she’s beautiful
July 19, 2006
14
At 11:06 am 14 said:
yes, she is quite beautiful isn’t she?
July 19, 2006
At 11:59 am i am she said:
I think this is hilarious. Someone hand her some facial tissue, to soak-up all that grease heh-heh.
It’s all in good fun! Love your work, keep it up. Eternally grateful for the laughs!
July 19, 2006
At 12:15 pm theidlereceptionist said:
I love the adipose tissue festooning the edges of the picture.
OFF TO MEL’S!
July 19, 2006
At 1:23 pm Liz said:
Eww. She does look like she needs to powder her nose in that picture.
July 19, 2006
Kiss My Grits
At 2:08 pm Kiss My Grits said:
Heh heh. I love it. A big part of her charm…if that’s what you call it…is that she’s sort of lumpy in a ‘gorgeous in the right light’ kind of way. A lot like Ellen Barkin. But the rest of the time she’s Just Folks, as shown by unflattering pictures of her on the beach and a bit of shine under spotlights.
When are you gonna do Keira “I don’t ever eat even though I NEVER CLOSE MY MOUTH” Knightley?
July 19, 2006
angel
At 2:44 pm angel said:
brilliant, as ever.
[keira soon? i hope.]
July 19, 2006
At 6:55 pm Demon Kitty said:
Fuck woman! You have no formal training? You are a fucking genius, a fucking genius! I am motherfucking impressed!
Kisses to Andrea and Donna!
I don’t think Cameron Diaz is beautiful. I think she is ugly - fucking butt ugly! She reminds me of one of those dolls that are made out of pillow like material with pantyhose type nylon or whatever the fuck pulled over them and their features sort of pulled and pinched into their face. Her cheekbones seem to stick out as much as her nose. I can’t help thinking about another Cameron quote - when she told Matthew McConohay or however the fuck you spell his name, “Kiss me, I have tuna breath!” She’s ugly and annoying.
I also must mention that I am still recovering from the nausea I experienced when seeing YET ANOTHER paparazzi shot of Paris Hilton’s cooter. A med student claimed you could see herpes on her C___NT and I wondered if they were bullshitting,so I went hunting for pictures of herpes and genital warts over the Internet and dear God, dear God, please help me forget the horror that I have seen! I really need to get my head checked! It was so vile! Sorry to monopolize the site, but fuck - I needed to let it out!
You could draw it 14, as some surreal medical text.
Love,
Demon Kitty
July 19, 2006
At 6:56 pm Demon Kitty said:
Oh, I have to say again - Cameron’s mouth is so outrageously wide, you captured it wonderfully 14. I wonder if Cameron does tea bagging?
July 19, 2006
9-5er
At 8:11 am 9-5er said:
I’m a newcomer to your work, and I have to say it’s amazing! Not only the social commentary you’re making, but the quality of the art itself. I love this one of Cameron, she has such terrible skin in real life and that makes her a bit more human.
July 20, 2006
At 8:52 am Doug said:
Oh no! Grease is the worst thing you could get for a hungover, it slows water distribution throughout the body making the symptoms last longer.I don’t know if that applies to the grease that is produced by your own body, though.
Anyway ,that confirms my assumption that Ms Diaz is as dumb and graceless as french fries.
July 20, 2006
At 10:21 am Josh Maday said:
Brilliant accentuation of Ms. Diaz’s beautiful, beautiful Julia-Robertsesque mouth.
July 20, 2006
Damien
At 3:30 pm Damien said:
hmmm I think shes on to me, that sound like my hang over cure all. Then again after a big night out I do crave fried noodles and milk, whats up with that?
July 20, 2006
ab
At 6:29 am ab said:
her mouth is freakish. it’s the biggest part of her body. not charming. scary.
July 21, 2006
At 6:58 am Andrea said:
I like Cameron Diaz, she is an original, and very natural in her demeanor, sparkly, funny, glam, but, like anyone on the PLANET, she has her annoying side. Good that you have the guts to lampoon one of the darlings. She herself will probably laugh about in that whoopie-cushion laugh of hers.
And, once again, D.Kitty makes me laugh out loud. I am still laughing about Paris’s fouled cooter.
Thank you for another hilarious digression. Kisses!!!
July 21, 2006
At 12:05 pm Madame M said:
French fries aren’t dumb. They are just deliciously misunderstood.
Love the adipose tissue. Love the oversized mouth.
Cannot wait for Posh Spice. (Posh Scarecrow? Scarecrow Spice?)
Brava!
July 21, 2006
At 5:05 am Idj said:
It’s a dessert topping AND a floor wax! Great take on one of the most insane type of comments made by a celebrity, 14. Spot on as usual.
July 23, 2006
At 11:23 pm Mily said:
are the things that look like boobs suposed to be zits?
July 24, 2006
At 6:42 am cherise said:
her mouth always reminds me of the Joker in Batman & Robin. And its so close to her nose! I’ve nothing against her, but just can’t help wondering about how she got all her roles with that mug of hers y’know?
July 25, 2006
14
At 9:10 am 14 said:
Mily
The things that look like boobs are actually….
“annoying flesh blobs”
and are open to interpretation.
14
July 27, 2006
At 1:44 pm Chansmom said:
Ahhh, there’s nothing like looking at pustules while nibbling on lunch.
Cameron is such a pig. And this has confirmed it. You don’t miss a thing, 14. As usual. Brava!
July 29, 2006
The Brit_2
At 8:42 pm The Brit_2 said:
I’m loving your blog so far ffleur!! I will spend more time on it later. Thanks for the referral from PU!!
August 22, 2006
At 9:16 am ER said:
Sorry but she is one of the most hideous woman along with Sarah Jessica Parker. She has man hands and her skin looks like shit and….and…well I just can’t express how much I despise her. What the fuck was Justin Timberlake thinking? Oh yeah…he needed someone manly in his life to balance out his girliness.
March 23, 2007