Filed under: Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Art
Lindsay Lohan’s swinging love life could easily be mistaken for one of those trashy pulp fiction novels from the 50’s and 60’s. With her come-hither, yet dazed eyes, she’s the perfect model of man eating temptress typically shown on the covers of lurid vintage paperbacks. Consider these actual titles…Born For Sin, Man Bait, or Lust is a Woman and imagine how natural Lindsay would look pictured on the cover. One can hardly keep up with reports of who she’s dating, one week it’s Brett Ratner and the next it’s Bruce Willis. The most recent report claims she’s moving to Europe because she’s dating “several men over there.” Once she’s ravanged Europe, the little kitten on the prowl is sure to relocate to other continents in search of fresh prey. Medium: Acrylic on board, digital text.
To further my point, I scanned a random page from Lust in Orbit,a 1963 title from my own collection of trashy vintage novels. Afterreading this excerpt, one can easily picture Lindsay as the narrator.The burning question in the world of celebrity gossip is where is Suri?!?! Artist Kipling West has created a concept for a Candyland-esque board game titled Save Suri! See it here.Gallery of the Absurd featured in the Washington Post Celebritology blog. Read more incessant ramblings of an artist with too much time on her hands.
Posted by 14 ♦ June 27, 2006
Mallory
At 12:42 am Mallory said:
Your painting never cease to amaze me. You captured her glazed-over look perfectly.
I love it.
June 27, 2006
At 1:47 am Morrigan said:
I hate to say it 14, but you almost made her too pretty. Maybe I’m jealous in that I’m a redhead with freckles who can’t tan. Okay, I could spray on the orange stuff, but yikes.
Very creative with the ‘pulp fiction’ dime novel of the 50’s and 60’s look.
tip o’ me hat to you.
June 27, 2006
china blue
At 3:53 am china blue said:
“I just needed a man, any man.” Story of her life. Must be like throwing a hot dog into the Grand Canyon by now…
June 27, 2006
At 5:18 am Madame M said:
Just. Perfect.
As much as her busty assets are well-documented on the piece, I think you *really* captured the dazed look with which she’s ambling these days. Wtf? Is Linds drugged these days?
June 27, 2006
At 6:30 am BrnEyedGirl676 said:
That’s great - I can also see Lindsay on a moor, the wind whipping through her hair, clutching her torn bodice that was ripped as she was ravished by a plundering Highlander. Smut novel cover art.
BTW “…Once she’s ravanged Europe…” - ravaged??
June 27, 2006
At 6:54 am Candice said:
Love it as usual, 14. You are the perfect mix of talent and creativity. I adore how you see pop culture.
June 27, 2006
At 7:17 am d.c. said:
You need a life.. Lindsay’s so amateur compared to Paris ‘I kill what I touch’ Hilton..
June 27, 2006
At 7:22 am DonnaJEM said:
It’s still so hard to believe that this is the cute little girl from The Parent Trap remake (which my daughters still love to watch!)
And could someone please tell me, what the hell is a “fire crotch”?!?!
Beautiful work 14. As usual.
June 27, 2006
At 8:21 am nunzia said:
that is awesome.
June 27, 2006
At 8:24 am Hugh G. said:
Awesome concept and execution 14! I even love your font choices. Not only are you an amazing painter, but you’ve got a great eye for graphic design.
It’s a shame someone as hot as Lindsay is such a whore. But…maybe that’s what I like about her? Eep!
June 27, 2006
At 10:43 am Demon Kitty said:
So fabulous 14! So fabulous! Brandon Davis’ nom de guerre (”firecrotch”) for her still gives me the creeps and unfortunately he started something that will never end.
I would love it if Lindsay turned out to be a big lesbian …. there is something about her.
Demon Kitty
June 27, 2006
At 1:31 pm Javelin said:
Tear all the pages out of a trashy romance novel and all the pages from a druggie memoir novel and shuffeled them up: voila! lindsay lohan’s biography.
I wonder which addiction will send her to rehab first hehe
June 27, 2006
Anonymous
At 6:36 pm Anonymous said:
the skin tone is fantastic, really right on. awesome
June 27, 2006
At 8:33 pm Fred said:
I’ll always think of her as the cute little girl in The Parent Trap! I don’t care who she’s banging!
June 27, 2006
At 9:25 pm skyviewsatellite said:
I was more than happy to pile on the negative commments that Brandon Davis’ video and your caricature of it invited. But now you use HIS slur in putting down Lohan? Even adding little flames in the background (”Fire - get it? Like fire crotch! Get it?”) Were you one of the minority of of folks who thought Davis was hilarious? Why not go further and portray Lohan with a distended pudenda sprawled in her pathetic NY hotel? It was funny when Davis said it.
Here’s a proposal; How about caricaturing Tucker Carlson for calling the alleged Duke rape victime a “crypto-hooker” and then you can do a crypto-hooker caricature of her! Hilarious.
June 27, 2006
Nell
At 9:41 pm Nell said:
I love the pulp fiction idea! Great job…my only comment is you made Lindsay too pretty. She hasn’t looked so good in years!
June 27, 2006
Le Petite Chaperon Rouge
At 9:47 pm Le Petite Chaperon Rouge said:
hey you skyviewsatellite person, lighten up you crusty old grandpa. Fire Crotch is what all the kids are saying today and it’s a term meaning sexy. You need to find your own fire crotch and get laid dude. The magic of the fire crotch just might rekindle your lost sense of humor.
June 27, 2006
14
At 9:50 pm 14 said:
Yes it’s true, I can’t spell. Plus, I always leave my misspelled words uncorrected to further add to my humiliation.
Thanks for all your comments!
love.
14
June 27, 2006
Ali
At 11:04 pm Ali said:
You captured her face perfectly. I love the assymetry. This is dead on!!
June 27, 2006
At 11:11 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Another cute little kid gets chewed up by the Fame Monster, then spit out in a viscous pulp of skeeze, makeup,and booze. Bet the film noir adaptation of your mock-pulp novel would beat the crap outta anything LiLo has appeared in since she was, well, too young to drive.
Again, at the risk of broken-record-dom, this one’s fucking brilliant. Is there any art style or sub-genre you DON’T excel at? Christ on a Ritz with pimento.
June 27, 2006
At 10:33 am midevil said:
Brilliant!
June 28, 2006
At 8:06 pm Long Island Irish said:
OOO I love how you painted her hair 14! She actually looks pretty here although the eyes are those of a true nympho. The only way you could have made this better was if you drew residue of white powder under her nose.
June 28, 2006
At 5:34 pm John Dixon said:
Essential. I wish I owned it.
July 5, 2006
At 4:13 am Bettie Page said:
to china blue:
Agree on the drugged out Dazed and Confused look. Her “bedroom eyes” are the epitoome of an H user, or at the very least, Valium popping chick…
July 14, 2006
At 1:30 am Art Griego said:
Has anyone here ever heard her songs? Her song “Confessions of a Broken Heart” is INTENSE. That’s some serious WAILING. I’m serious, You can hear it on music.aol.com (the whole song, no less) Hey, I like to pile on like the rest, but I can’t believe no one ever mentions it. And no, I’m not a shill, my email there is for real.
July 30, 2006