Filed under: Nicole Richie
If you’ve browsed through the latest fashion magazines, then you’ve likely seen Nicole Richie’s beautifully photographed Jimmy Choo ads. We were curious how film director and photographer Brett Ratner was able to capture the overwrought drama displayed in the photos, so we asked our in-house photo analysis team to investigate. SCANDAL! They were able to uncover the original photograph before it was transformed with extensive airbrushing:
[PRE-AIRBRUSHED IMAGE. Click to enlarge]
The annoyed expression and exaggerated gesticulation displayed by Nicole and her companion is NOT caused by the excess of paparazzi flashbulbs, but by concerned citizens offering food. Wrongfully assuming that Nicole might be hungry as she made a late exit out of the nightclub, several bystanders gathered to offer her something to eat. "Nicole, have some of my hot fudge sundae!", "Nicole, I’ve roasted a
whole turkey for you!", "Over here Nicole! Taste my
famous carbonara!" Notice the man on the far right of the photo. He achieves his
expression the moment Nicole clocks him after he offers her a slice of pizza.
Figure 1. Unknown Hollywood Fancy Boy recoils in horror after a plate of pasta is shoved in his face. Just as vampires must avoid sunlight, Hollywood types avoid refined carbohydrates.
Figure 2. Nicole Richie sneers in disgust and annoyance in the presence of food.
Figure 3. Bystander is punched in the face after innocently offering a slice of pizza.
Once all the common bystanders are erased during post production and replaced with far more glamorous images of tuxedoed paparazzi, the image is ready to be inserted into the magazines. I don’t know about you, but this ad makes me want to run out and purchase an expensive handbag the size of a house. Apologies to Brett Ratner and Jimmy Choo - this is a parody.
Posted by 14 ♦ February 27, 2006
At 3:41 pm Doris Karloff said:
Good one, 14; here I thought Hollywood FancyBoy’s expression was from a thump in the gnarlies with that big ugly purse! Thanks for settin’ me straight!
February 27, 2006
At 3:42 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
I think Nicole would actually fit inside of that bag!
February 27, 2006
At 8:47 pm Demon Kitty said:
She is so gross to look at. She reminds me of the starving children in Bangladesh my parents used to show me to get me to finish my dinner.
If the handbag is bigger than you, you shouldn’t wear it.
So Much love,
Demon Kittty
February 27, 2006
Jazz
At 3:27 am Jazz said:
I think that Nicole should put that bag to better use, by eating it.
February 28, 2006
At 6:14 am Ilsa said:
“Jimmy Chew” “Hollywood Fancy Boy” — LMAO — love it! This ad campaign totally puts me out of the mood for shopping for Choos.
February 28, 2006
At 8:58 am Long Island Irish said:
She’s so little and that bag is so big that I’m surprised she can hold it up.
February 28, 2006
aoi
At 9:10 am aoi said:
Lol! This is great, she really look like disgusted!!
February 28, 2006
At 10:41 am Crees_Dahl said:
14!
You are the queen of all media!
BTW, doesn’t the guy with the Pizza slice look like Federline?
February 28, 2006
um truthfull
At 4:42 pm um truthfull said:
ok this site sucks now, u really need to get back to your old art which drew us all in, now u are just taking your audience for granted and half assing everything…
February 28, 2006
E
At 4:48 pm E said:
OMG I love the re-drawn arms. Funny sh*t.
February 28, 2006
Bex
At 7:12 pm Bex said:
Hilarious pic. I also appreciate that it bumped the goatse down the page…I no longer throw up a little in my mouth every time I check the site for updates. You’re a certifiable genius, 14!
February 28, 2006
At 9:34 pm Janine said:
Girl, imma pee my pants!! You think she sings in the shower “All night long… I’ll starve myself All Night Loooong…”?
February 28, 2006
At 11:34 am Brandon said:
OMG I would totally die for arms like Nicole’s. It would be so fucking hot to not be able to lift anything. You’d have to make someone do it for you. Hot.
March 1, 2006
At 7:15 pm DonnaJEM said:
I was also wondering how little tiny Nickie could hold that bag up.
Like her stomach, it must be empty.
I’ve seen this ad in a few mags and I don’t get it. I like your explanation though, makes sense to me now.
March 1, 2006
Anonymous
At 9:25 pm Anonymous said:
how in the world is that ad supposed to make me want to buy the bag my mother had in 1983? Will is make me anorexic?
March 1, 2006
Danielle
At 10:12 am Danielle said:
I like this blog entry alot, it was funny. I saw Nicole in a “sexy bikini celebs” article in US Magazine, she looked like a poster girl for anorexia, but evidently US magazine finds that look attracive. She was so skinny the FRONT of her bikini bottoms was sagging. now THAT’S gross!!
March 2, 2006
Damien
At 3:01 pm Damien said:
I beleive UNICEF were going to airdrop a food parcels into Hollywood pretty soon, the site of under fed celebs has become to much to take … donate now!
March 2, 2006
At 5:43 pm How to Get the Girl of your Dreams said:
I remember hanging out with her a few years ago, werid girl.
March 2, 2006
Elvis
At 12:14 pm Elvis said:
How come nobody offered me any tasty treats like that when I was posting chart topping singles?
March 4, 2006
At 1:09 pm Deana said:
Brilliant! They might as well put a cane in her hand and it would be an ad for osteoperosis.
March 4, 2006
At 1:34 pm Ines said:
That is so funny! All the disgusted faces. At least now we know why
March 4, 2006
At 8:33 am lola.lollipop said:
Too funny! I have to wonder, what is it about Nicole Richie that has made her famous? Her daddy? She is a no talent rake whom I suspect carries rocks in her purse so she’s not blown away by the wind. Someone give the girl a hotdog……..
March 7, 2006
annie
At 2:17 am annie said:
I totally thought someone had made her bag look bigger than it was.
March 27, 2006
kid.princess
At 4:39 pm kid.princess said:
I can’t believe she can actually hold that bag! It’s twice her size. I used to admire Nicole Richie so much until she bit the Hollywood fishing hook of being extremely skinny.
April 1, 2006
At 10:15 pm SpannerKit said:
OMG I almost choked! I am sitting on the toilet surfing. As usual I have been at it too long and can’t get up and go to bed as I know I should. Well, this is the one that allows me to wipe my ass, brush my teeth and call it a night. Finally - something entertaining enough to end the day on. Thanks a bunch!
April 6, 2006
At 8:07 am Mary said:
Maybe they’ll get so skinny they’ll just disappear.
June 1, 2006
At 12:27 pm Quinn said:
I’m surprised they didn’t choose someone a little more… well… sophisticated. Sorry. I don’t mean to be rude but there are so many more very elegant women. Nicole is lots of great things but elegant isn’t one of them.. Come on! Look at Kate Moss, look at Angelina Jolie! Check out the catwalk sometime for that matter. Nicole simply doesn’t have that kind of elegance and presence. She’s not that kind of girl. She’s more the sometimes-cute-sometimes-sultry-type and rather rough around the edges for high fashion. But elegant and sophisticated? Not really.. I’m sorry. I just don’t see it. I think she and Choo are a mismatch.. I had a different impression of Choo shoes. I guess THEY’RE the ones selling out.
July 31, 2007