Filed under: Star Jones, Star Jones Art
So my friend Kipling suggested that I paint a “goatse” celebrity. She says, “You should see all the goatse inspired art all over the Internet…there’s all sorts of web sites devoted to it.”14 “What’s a goatse? Is it some new derivation of furry fandom?”Kipling “Nah, it’s the most disgusting photo on the Internet.”14 “Really? How did I not know about it…Where can I see it?!?!”Kipling “Are you sure you want to see it?”14 “The most disgusting thing on the Internet…yep, I gotta see it right away.”And that was how I lost my last remaining shreds of childlike innocence.Sure, the goatse image was horrifying, but it was tame compared to The Most Disgusting Page EVER in Star magazine. One day I turn the page and see a giant photo of Star and Al “kissing” along with the headline, “Star Jones Reynold’s SEX SECRETS!” NOOOOOO!!!NO. NO NO NO. Those words should never, ever be used in a sentence together. So,as vulgar as this subject is, I have now added to the ever expandingcollection of goatse inspired “art” on the Internet. I’m sure this willdo wonders for my career.
Posted by 14 ♦ February 23, 2006
At 2:10 pm Melanie said:
ARGGGHHHHHHH!!! my eyes!! i just looked up a goatse and thought i was going to die! I’m blaming my future therapy on you!!! ewwwwwwwww
February 23, 2006
doug
At 2:43 pm doug said:
14. that is funny. and sick, also.
i wanna see the video. by the way, whose butt is that? martha stewarts? donald trumps?
February 23, 2006
Damien
At 2:44 pm Damien said:
Okay I just had to google image search that little gem “YIKES”, well anyway. Such a dodgey relationship. This image will haunt me until my dying day!!!
February 23, 2006
At 3:00 pm Patrick Fitzgerald said:
Blech… I have to go look at the goatse image for a while to cleanse my eyes.
February 23, 2006
At 3:16 pm MrFreeze said:
It’s gross..but not AS disgusting as you say it is. Trust me I’ve seen worse..much worse.
In fact, I think it’s art. It’s gross, but it’s art. Right?
February 23, 2006
At 3:32 pm bronze Pixe said:
oh my god this is BRILLIANT!!!!
am I viewing this through some stretched open orifice?? lol
February 23, 2006
At 3:34 pm bronzePixie said:
ok
just Googled “goatse”. Them kissing was like the putrid pot of gold at the end of the end of the skidmark runway
February 23, 2006
At 3:39 pm AussieAndrea said:
ARGH! What have you done to me? I had to go and google “goatse art” didn’t I? Yick!
February 23, 2006
At 3:41 pm Long Island Irish said:
Is that a giant rubber they are kissing inside of?
I think I have to make a threapy appointment now…..
February 23, 2006
At 4:02 pm Jason said:
that’s just all kinds of wrong.
February 23, 2006
At 4:05 pm 14 said:
I forgot to mention…. PERIL at your own risk if you go sniffing around google looking for the goatse image. I warned you! : )
Answer to some of you who emailed me: The medium for this horrible goatse painting is Golden Fluid acrylic on paper. The little circles around the image were done in Photoshop.
14
February 23, 2006
At 4:13 pm Cyclops Kitten Natividad said:
Ok, now I’m really sorry I told you about goatse. For now I must gouge out my own eyes. ARGH.
February 23, 2006
At 4:23 pm Crees_Dahl said:
“Star Jones Reynold’s SEX SECRETS!” as a headline next to that pic!? I think any advice she gives based on her own sexual experience would be better described as “Population Control”!
And, since I am now no longer hungry after being subjected to this, I think I may paste this image on my fridge to see if I can lose a few pounds.
February 23, 2006
At 5:43 pm Ilsa said:
What’s a goatse? Is it any worse than these two nasty polyps making out inside a hand-stretched rectum? I don’t think I really wanna know, but I must anyway.
February 23, 2006
At 5:58 pm Ilsa said:
OK, I just clicked on the link and answered my own question. Damn sorry I did, even though you warned us. Off to go puke now. :X
February 23, 2006
At 6:45 pm Pop Fantastic said:
***Screaming***
It’s awful!!! I love it!!
February 23, 2006
At 8:47 pm Christi said:
OH NO!!! I just got over the stomach flu and you had to do this???
excuse me….(running for the john…)
February 23, 2006
At 10:57 pm Demon Kitty said:
A coworker showed me a picture of GOATSE 3 years ago. I had to ask all my male homosexual friends if someone’s ass could dilate THAT MUCH and they would all get bitchy and defensive about it. The I asked one of the doctor’s at work and he said that was “too Much”.
That fact that you painted a picture of Star Jones and Big Gay All kissing with someone’s distended anus as a fame for the pic, just proves to us more than ever that YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!
Demon Kitty
February 23, 2006
At 6:10 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
EEEEEWWWWYYYYY!!
I happened accross the goatse pic a few days ago for the first time…and YIKES.
I can’t tell which is worse, that, or your goatse hybrid!!
February 24, 2006
At 8:30 am alison said:
I think I’m the sickest of us all because I looked at that and thought it was Star n’ Al lovingly rendered on the top of one of those Pizza Hut poppers pizza.
February 24, 2006
At 10:45 am anon said:
Haha … I get it now
February 24, 2006
At 11:35 am Jaden said:
If you think goatse-man is bad, try looking up tubgirl.com. I’ve been washing my eyes for weeks, can’t make the horrors go away…
February 24, 2006
Sonia
At 12:44 pm Sonia said:
Looked up the goatse…. just wondering if I’m the only person who immediately assumed the fetal position and closed my eyes really tight trying to picture the time I went to Disneyworld.
February 24, 2006
At 1:14 pm Mat said:
the best part about goatse is passing it on to others
but seriously, don’t look up tubgirl! hahahaha
February 24, 2006
At 5:48 pm Goat, see? said:
When will this be on BoingBoing?
February 24, 2006
some dude
At 5:49 pm some dude said:
Wow, I’m genuinely shocked that there are still people on the internet who have never heard of goatse. Jesus, that thing’s been going around forever! And yes, do check out tubgirl!
February 24, 2006
At 5:51 pm Cathey said:
Goatse…according to all that is holy, this doesn’t exist in my world!
February 24, 2006
At 6:02 pm Morrigan said:
I thought I had been subjected to seeing every possible fetish and weird sexual thing I could come across, but all I can say is
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Seriously, I’ve got to take a shower. Apparently I’m not as jaded as I believed myself to be! Great work, 14, but I’m gonna try to get goatse out of my head now.
February 24, 2006
At 6:53 pm mimi said:
EWW, I just had to see what a goatse was and yuck ….I found out. I’m frozen in my chair from shock and horror Ewww. Damn me from being so nosey.
February 24, 2006
At 8:14 pm 14 said:
Why doesn’t Boing Boing post my goatse? It’s because they are hip, trendy and cool. PROUDLY and with scintillating happiness, 14 is NOT hip, trendy and cool. And it’s gonna stay that way.
14
February 24, 2006
Allie
At 6:03 pm Allie said:
First, I’m shocked that so many people haven’t heard of goatse. Why don’t all of you look up tubgirl, or lemonparty.org?
Secondly, 14, you are my favorite. I would rather have the orignial goatse pasted over every surface that I see for the rest of forever than to see those two kissing for another second. *grossed out*
February 25, 2006
At 5:49 pm Benjamin said:
Goatse!
February 26, 2006
At 7:33 am james said:
to me, it looks like they’re kissing inside of star’s stretched out vagina. that has got to be one of the most stomach-churning images i’ve ever seen. hilarious, but yet very disturbing.
February 27, 2006
At 8:14 am Bunny said:
I was just checking in to see if you had anything new - I love your work - I’m a huge fan and sometimes your too good - I’m soo grossed out by this “makeout” portrait - it’s like something I shouldnt see - too kinky!!! I feel afraid and nautious at the same time. eeewww!!!! Bring back droopy eyed Paris pic please!!!!!!!!!!!
February 27, 2006
Penname
At 8:21 am Penname said:
Ok yeah, I am totally agreeing with Allie on both points. I mean, yeah 14, this is totally nasty and you did it perfectly. But more importantly, I was unaware that there were people in the world who hadn’t seen goatse! Jeez people, what is this? 1996?
February 27, 2006
At 10:39 am moonmaid said:
At least the wikipedia entry doesn’t have the picture. The description is more than enough.
Brilliant as usual, 14. Those two are nauseating to the nth degree. This image will help with my new diet. I was going to try the Sonoma Diet but I think the Star&AlGoatseImage Diet will more than suffice!
February 27, 2006
At 2:10 pm Texas Longhorns National Champs! said:
God, that is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…I’d rather watch Skating With Celebrities then to see those two wackos kiss….or worse!
February 27, 2006
At 1:49 pm My Spin On Things said:
I think it’s Star Jones and someones ass?
March 1, 2006
At 1:38 pm Ines said:
Eeeek !! That’s gross. Star Jones is really desperate for attention, isn’t she?
March 4, 2006
At 10:13 pm goatse said:
wow wow wow! this incredible piece of work really belongs on goatsesighting.com…
June 7, 2006
At 3:07 pm Hedda Lettice said:
whats the tubgirl site about? I’m too scared to go look, so just give a couple details
June 11, 2006
At 3:23 pm Babs said:
I used Google image search for goatse with the filter turned off. Tub Girl was the 2nd image that popped up. The “typical” goatse pictures are indeed gross, but Tub Girl….I had to pour myself a really stiff drink. That is some SICK shit.
Be scared. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.
December 17, 2006