Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art
While on vacation I was flipping through a few gossip tabloids. Most of the photos and articles are pretty much the same dreck week after week, but one small blurb caught my eye: Madonna Wine. Yep, that’s right. Now you can drink the essence of Madonna with her new “Confessions on a Dance Floor” line of collectible bottles. Doesn’t this woman have enough money and exposure? Ah well, I’ll take care of Madonna and her material empire in an upcoming post.Now let’s take a look at Tara Reid. If a company really wanted to sell booze, the best thing to do would be to put Reid’s mug on the label. A liquor company such as Absolut could license Tara’s image and then she could go on a worldwide drinking binge while promoting the company. The campaign would generate millions for the company even though they’d have to endure a few minor embarassments (Anna Nicole Smith and Trim Spa come to mind). Page Six referred to Tara as a C-List Booze Beast just recently, so it seems that Tara won’t be ridding herself of the “party girl” label any time soon. Tara honey, it’s time to cash in on your disgrace.
Posted by 14 ♦ January 4, 2006
At 12:01 pm TheIdleReceptionist said:
HEE HEE HEE!
Glad your back!
January 4, 2006
At 12:44 pm Janelle said:
Love it!
Welcome back 14!
January 4, 2006
At 1:13 pm chansmom said:
Wow! I wonder if these people know how crazy we think/know them to be?
Once again, you have outdone yourself…hehe.
January 4, 2006
At 1:55 pm Jolly James said:
BAWHAHAHA!! Ohhhh shit….dang now THAT”S comedy!!
January 4, 2006
At 2:20 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
I can’t wait till Madonna starts shilling for Depends and Poligrip. Lord that woman is a cow.
Hey, speaking of everything being the same in all the gossip rags these days…howcome it’s all about who’s pregnant, who’s under suspicion of pregnancy, who’s knocking up who, who is about to pop, and lots of pix of babies and mommies? It’s frickin’ creepy. Did the whole Woman’s Lib thing even happen, or did I miss the announcement when they let us know that, in fact, a woman is NOT anything useful past the production(s) of her uterus?
God, I never get the memos.
January 4, 2006
At 3:57 pm Demon Kitty said:
I hate Madonna! I would never drink wine out of a bottle with her image on it! Hate hate hate!!!
Vodka that tastes like Tara? It would have to be stale Vodka-wretched up. Maybe some stomach acid and cigarette flavors in there? Maybe some bile?
Oh please do the one of Paris Hilton with her hand in her crotch!
So much love,
Demon Kitty
January 4, 2006
At 6:19 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
ha! and the coolest thing would be that as you drink it, tara’s picture on the front keeps looking prettier and prettier!!
January 4, 2006
Orianna
At 7:31 pm Orianna said:
i’d rather drink Lil John’s crunk juice.
January 4, 2006
At 8:06 pm Christi said:
It is so good to see you back, and with another Classic Tara! Poor girl, she really is obsolete. Looks like being talentless can take you only so far in Hollywood if you don’t keep your looks.
To the thief in the UK: Knock it off or 14’s fans will come over there and knock the bangers and mash out of you!
January 4, 2006
At 8:51 pm midevil said:
Send a copy to adbusters! They love ripping on Absolute! I bet you’d be the next cover!
January 4, 2006
At 10:20 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL I love how you have “deported” on the bottle. If only that could come true. I know! As a late Christmas gift to everyone in America the goverment should have her deported to the Middel East where she can live with Michael Jackson! Oh, it would be just like the Odd Couple except being really creepy and really wierd….
January 4, 2006
bird
At 12:50 am bird said:
You are awesome.
I just stumbled on this site through dlisted and I love it. Brilliant artwork and hilarious!
January 5, 2006
At 8:47 am Aunt Beep said:
I can smell the sweet scent of a Taratini already…
January 5, 2006
At 9:25 am Len said:
Man, are you good. This might be my favorite one.
January 5, 2006
At 12:19 pm midevil said:
Ha, aunt Beep, “Taratini”! Quentin Tarantino needs to make a “Tara” movie!
January 5, 2006
At 2:23 pm Damien said:
Your back, your back yeeeehaaaa (sorry I’ve got a latent texan gene somewhere).
You know I’ve always thought Tara is the classy kind of Gal who swigs straight from the bottle, someone who could drink a Cosack under the table…although I have no doubt shes done many things to Cosacks under the table.
January 5, 2006
At 8:04 pm DTOP said:
Please sell prints. They would be at once; valuable/invaluabe. Thanks for returning.
Your devotee.
January 5, 2006
At 9:25 pm Ilsa said:
This is dreadful!!! I think that in order to sell, Obsolete can not be marketed as a high-end product…the bottom shelf of the liquor store, along with with the other $2.99 bottles of scum rum that only winos and college freshmen buy, is where this vile stuff belongs. Can you imagine the hangover you’d have the next day? Christ! The product wouldn’t even need the government warning label; the picture on the front is a glaring caution in and of itself.
January 5, 2006
At 12:18 am Ashaya said:
C-List Booze Beast?!?! Why did that just make my life!!!!!
January 6, 2006
At 6:11 am isabella said:
ahaaah…great…..Tara is fab in this pic……^______^
January 6, 2006
maddy
At 7:52 am maddy said:
Fantastic artwork, once again! Almost makes me like Tara Reid just for being ridiculous enough to give you inspiration lol
By the way, I just read about your work in a Brazilian news website. Woo and hoo for much deserved exposure!
January 6, 2006
At 2:35 pm Johnny Huh? said:
They could cross market the booze with a free eight ball of coke if you buy two bottles at once.
She’s a decidedly unattactive drunk.
January 6, 2006
At 2:44 pm Morrigan said:
Welcome back 14! Thanks so much for coming back to give us all a good belly laugh.
January 6, 2006
At 11:49 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Baby Jesus Stuffed in a Pillowcase, the composition, colors, and sensibility behind this rank it as one of your best. Frickin’ amazing!
I said it before, I’ll say it again; Tara Reid is Gala to your Dali,Campbell’s Soup to your Warhol, Clint Eastwood to your Sergio Leone. In other words, a muse with endless (and magnificently excruciating) variations and possibilities as a subject. And your art packs more of a punch than the industrial strength lighter fluid/ liquid courage Tara surely quaffs to catch a buzz. Brilliant!
I’m foaming at the mouth over the prospect of you firing away at Madonna again. She looks like Judy Tenuta’s gap-toothed stepsister. She possesses a singing voice with the robust strength of a Triscuit under an SUV tire. And her feeble and obvious image ‘re-inventions’ over the years are pure bush-league David Bowie…if Bowie was a dumb little crispy-haired nine-year-old mallrat whose cosmic understanding of the human sexual experience was gleaned from a Hustler cartoon. This shallow, clueless, derivative, untalented, opportunistic old harridan deserves another workover from you.
Go get ‘er, 14. And make sure the gloves are off when you do.
January 6, 2006
Gustavo
At 6:06 pm Gustavo said:
Never thought about getting drunk with Tara Reid. Guess I just can wait to rent “American Pie” tape while having Tara Reid all by my own.
January 8, 2006
At 11:10 am me said:
hey 14 - you got plugged on gawker.com
they love tara reid too!
January 9, 2006
Liz
At 5:14 pm Liz said:
I don’t know if you know about this one but I found this obvious theft:
http://www.befuddle.co.uk/celebs/tara_reid/tara_reid_drunk55.html
January 9, 2006
At 9:57 pm Ilsa said:
Viper Tetsu, you make my day! You always create the most colorful descriptions with your commentary, which is like poetry on my screen. You need to compile a list of these “Baby Jesus Stuffed in a Pillowcase” “Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick” exclamations; they always make me convulse with laughter!
January 9, 2006
At 6:39 pm luke-d said:
I am tired of people talking shit about Tara Reid she is very beatiful and was very good on scrubs. (and besides thats bitch is fine) the only reason you talk junk is because you are haters :))
January 10, 2006
At 6:40 pm luke-d said:
I am tired of people talking shit about Tara Reid she is very beatiful and was very good on scrubs. (and besides that bitch is fine) the only reason you talk junk is because you are haters :))
January 10, 2006
At 12:59 pm Crees_Dahl said:
Luke-d:
Yes she is/was pretty. But she threw it all away. She is always saying that she can’t be taken serious in Hollywood - yet she is the only person that makes herself look like a total fool. She even makes Paris look classy when they are together!!!
I don’t hate her but I don’t want my daughters to see a pretty, famous, usually trashed has-been constantly showing us her botched plastic surgery and have them thinking that is what success is.
She is lucky she is pretty and had ambition at one point in her career because otherwise she would be living under a freeway overpass strung out on crack. Because thats what happens to people like her who are not “hot”
January 18, 2006