Filed under: Paris Hilton
Yes, I know…Paris Hilton again. It’s only because I’ve noticed an increased frequency of Paris Hilton backlash in the gossip tabloids, and we seem to gobble it up with glee. Star Magazine recently ran a cover story accusing Paris of "backstabbing" and "boyfriend stealing" and went on to feature her growing list of enemies. Italian designer Valentino called Paris "vulgar", Mary Kate Olsen is upset Paris stole her oversized Greek boyfriend, Shannon Dougherty is still seething over the fact that her ex-husband "starred" with Paris in the infamous sex video, and Page Six reported that Paris’s own pet monkey attacked her while they were shopping together in Las Vegas. The way things are going, it’s only a matter of time before Tinkerbell goes for her throat. For this reason, I have created the Paris Hilton Voodoo Doll. It was designed not to cause bodily harm to Paris….no, each prick of the pin will only embroil her in more scandal and humiliation. We’ll be entertained by her downfall, and she’ll gain the notoriety she seeks. Everyone wins. Buy one today!
Posted by 14 ♦ November 19, 2005
Lesley
At 8:13 pm Lesley said:
That is fantastic! You have the hands and feet down perfect!
So now, where can I get the doll?
November 20, 2005
pastina
At 8:36 pm pastina said:
very nice14, her face is right on. and very good observation by valentino, its about time other people realized that Paris Hilton is just a big bony woman with too much money and not enough integrity.
November 20, 2005
MIchelle
At 8:47 pm MIchelle said:
genius may i say?
November 20, 2005
Mel
At 9:19 pm Mel said:
So awesome it hurts.
November 20, 2005
At 9:44 pm LittleOracle said:
OMG I laughed my ass off! Not only did you get Paris’ hideous “hand feet” right, but you also got Shannen Doherty’s uneven eyes right, too! Mary Kate is histerical as well although i don’t know anything about the pet monkey — I thought she had a more exotic animal that crapped on her this time. Oh more please!
November 20, 2005
At 1:10 am Pickle said:
The depiction of the man feet is fabulous !
November 21, 2005
At 1:11 am Morrigan said:
Sheer brillance, once again….especially that poor monkey!
November 21, 2005
Anonymous
At 1:26 am Anonymous said:
isn’t she shannen doherty?
November 21, 2005
At 1:33 am Sandra said:
Excellent lol
November 21, 2005
kate
At 3:48 am kate said:
You captured her lazy eye perfectly.
November 21, 2005
At 4:36 am Lindsey said:
Genius…. pure genius. I actually laughed out loud with joy as the page loaded.
November 21, 2005
At 4:48 am Tara S. said:
OMG! Shannon’s eyes really DO look like that! And what exactly IS that THING Paris is calling a “pet” these days? She really WILL do ANYTHING for attention.
November 21, 2005
At 4:53 am jesseeka said:
You captured Shannen Doherty’s face perfectly
November 21, 2005
Jeannie Bueller
At 7:24 am Jeannie Bueller said:
I love how you nailed her cockeye.
Bravo!
November 21, 2005
Cyn
At 7:35 am Cyn said:
Great job on the lazy eye. Shannon Dougherty’s crazy eyes look good too.
November 21, 2005
mishi
At 8:23 am mishi said:
…. aaaahahahahahaAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!! dats soo hilarious… and the pet monkey… -priceless
November 21, 2005
At 8:34 am Long Island Irish said:
Now that is a great product idea! That poor little monkey, if I was a monkey and if I was forced to wear those stupid outfits I’d injure her very badly resulting in her being forced into a motorized wheel chair and then I’d nibble on the break cables!
November 21, 2005
At 9:12 am Bunny said:
Oh my God!!! I’m laughing hysterically at Paris’s droopy eye and then I scroll down and see the monkey and Shannon’s f’d-up eyes - I fell off my chair!! pure ingenious.
Huge fan - keep it up.
November 21, 2005
At 9:20 am Patrick Fitzgerald said:
Ooh, that Shannon Dougherty is freaky! Nice job.
November 21, 2005
At 9:52 am Kipling said:
Oh my god. The feet. THE FEET. She looks like one of those homunculus drawings of the cerebral cortex.
November 21, 2005
Lola Montès
At 10:01 am Lola Montès said:
Congratulation 14! You’re the best!
You perfectly pictured Paris’ large and ugly foot.
November 21, 2005
At 10:32 am DonnaJEM said:
Hehehehehehehehe, Ms. Dougherty’s face is the BEST!! And anyone who takes a monkey shopping deserves to have their face ripped off.
November 21, 2005
At 11:14 am milica said:
Wonderful! I especially like the portrait of Mary Kate
November 21, 2005
At 11:24 am E. said:
This is your best work yet! Hilarious!
November 21, 2005
Anonymous
At 12:13 pm Anonymous said:
This is my favorite painting of yours.
EVER.
November 21, 2005
At 12:45 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
lmao! you captured her “cock”-eyed face perfectly!
November 21, 2005
Anonymous
At 7:55 pm Anonymous said:
I want to buy one!!!!!!!!!!!
November 21, 2005
At 7:59 pm midevil said:
Have you thought about fashioning Xmas tree ornaments out of that?
November 21, 2005
At 8:50 pm anastasia b. said:
can i get one in “tom cruise”?
November 21, 2005
At 11:22 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Geniuser than the geniusest of the geniusest, dahlink! Just when I question whether you’ll be able to squeeze more comic juice out of the same vapid celeb repeatedly, out comes more pulpy-rich goodness!
It’s the little details that make this one sing. I can only add my meager voice to the chorus of praise for Paris’s man-hands/man-feet. Thank you also for the restrained dig at Shannon Doherty’s eye placement (one eye on her forehead, the other below her nostrils looks about right to me, too)!
So Paris stole Mary Kate Olsen’s boyfriend from her? Why doesn’t this guy just dry-hump a Norfin Troll doll and be done with it? It’d be a lot lower-maintenance date.
November 21, 2005
At 5:35 am Demon Kitty said:
This totally made my day. I love it when you do Paris Hilton. And those over sized sunglasses that swallow up Mary Kate’s face!
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
November 22, 2005
At 6:57 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
Hil-AR-ious. And perfect likeness of Valentino!
Did anyone see the Southpark where they had Paris on and Tinkerbell shot herself in the face? I see a similar future for this woebegone simian pet of hers.
OOOHHHHHh 14, please do one of Brit-Fedz poor son! I heard they left a club all boozed up at 2:30 AM and little SEAN was seen in the back seat!! Attack of the crappy trailer trash parents!!!
“Nibble on the break cables,” GREAT! Hah.
November 22, 2005
gena
At 8:23 am gena said:
you are so gifted!
November 22, 2005
At 10:15 am NY Diva said:
OMG 14, you are awesome! You got Parasite to a T! I love the bony hands and toes! If you were a man, I’d marry you!
November 22, 2005
kea
At 12:55 pm kea said:
OMG…That lazy eye, those gigantic hands, Shannon Dougherty..OMG..Mary Kate is wretched with her starbucks..I can’t quit laughing.
The only one missing from your satisfied customers is Nicole Richie..or maybe she is there, she’s just lost so much weight she’s invisible.
Good 1 14!!!
November 22, 2005
14
At 1:51 pm 14 said:
did I spell shannon dohickey’s name wrong? AWESOME!!!
Thanks for your comments everyone.
14
November 22, 2005
At 3:46 pm Fig Leaf said:
The Paris Doll appears to be stuffed with pubic hair! Priceless.
November 22, 2005
At 8:01 pm ralph said:
GREAT!!! I hope she gets a few more pins to tie down her skirt. It seems like she is always accidentally flashing the whole world.
November 22, 2005
Orianna
At 8:43 pm Orianna said:
fabulous! specially mary kate’s wasted look…
November 22, 2005
At 10:16 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL thanks The Idle Receptionist!!! I’m really glad you liked my “Kill Paris via the break cables” idea. Perhaps the cables would let go just as she was on top of a large hill. She’d roll straight into oncoming traffic and be hit by a cement truck. Tragic…..NOT!!!
November 22, 2005
At 5:45 am trish said:
Can you get any effing funnier! I love you! I honestly love you!
November 23, 2005
Kris
At 8:41 am Kris said:
Freakin awesome.
November 23, 2005
At 11:38 am Chansmom said:
Oh my!!!! Gawd!!!!! You are something to come up with this one. I love you!!!
I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one who noticed Shannon Dougherty doesn’t have a symetrical face. Those crooked eye sockets drive me nuts!
November 23, 2005
Francine
At 1:07 pm Francine said:
Shannen Doherty! As my dad would say, “She has blew eyes: one blew north, one blew south.”
I’d love to see you take on PETE Doherty next, though he already looks like you whacked him across the chops with your mighty paintbrush!
November 23, 2005
Damien
At 1:34 pm Damien said:
God she does have monster feet and hands (watch out Uma). Wait, no she almost has man feet, clonking great man feet, they almost would’nt look out of place on a coal miner!
Lets hope Paris forgets to give chimpy his monthly ebola shot.
November 23, 2005
Katie
At 3:53 pm Katie said:
my god. you drew her feet PERFECTLY. and her droopy eye. and mary-kate. and valentino. god. the whole thing is just RIGHT on. so awesomee!
November 23, 2005
At 6:10 pm ffleur said:
Its pure genius 14! I can’t top the comments already put forth except to agree: the hands/feet are perfect (imagine being the person who pedicures those muthas?), the wonky eye, the lazy smile, the beaky nose. I also love the tiny fingers on midget Mary Kate.
November 24, 2005
At 8:43 pm sylvie said:
absolutely amazing!! very funny too!! you actually draw her better looking than she is in real life. and…i love valentino, mary kate, shannon and the monkey…too funny. the monkey story is hysterical!!
November 24, 2005
At 8:15 am Mariele said:
hahahaha hahahaha paris feet same as real jajjajaja
14 excellente work
big fan girl!
November 25, 2005
At 9:39 am daisyss said:
Frighteningly right on.
November 25, 2005
At 9:54 am Jodi said:
Gah! Oy! Oh! Fabamundo! Bravo!
However, the dimwit’s digits, in so-called real life, are even more deformed and disgusting than depicted here.
November 26, 2005
Fug.
At 6:46 am Fug. said:
Omg can I have that doll too?
I’ll love to ‘play’ with it.
December 1, 2005
At 12:49 pm Pat Angello said:
Can we use a gun instead of pins?
December 2, 2005
At 9:48 am Long Island Irish said:
LOL!!! Great idea Pat Angello–using a gun on a Paris Hilton doll would certainy be an ideal Christmas present to decrease rage.
December 5, 2005
At 9:36 am madamemedeasmilk said:
you are evil and so truthful! The picture did not however call her a racist. Oh yeah you did say backstabber! She is utterly gross and she looks like a post opp trannie!
December 10, 2005
At 5:44 am chezza!! said:
this is so ture, but evil!! i love this web sit!! but… where can i get 1 of thoses dollz?? lol, thumbs up guyz!!!
January 17, 2006
poop...hehe
At 3:45 am poop…hehe said:
i love the feet and the monkey comment ahhh… priceless
February 25, 2006
At 9:43 pm Judy said:
LOL that is HILARIOUS. U even got the huge feet down pat. That is priceless
March 3, 2006
At 8:40 pm Sam said:
Really nice! Hands, feet, hook nose..perfect! Great job
May 17, 2006
At 3:59 pm bored-with-hype said:
Your art shows comic book potential, but it’s too bad everyone is so shocked by physical imperfections. I suppose you all prefer the surgical perfect symmetry to what is exotic and natural. It’s a pathetic testament to how soulless the country has become if ever it had one, that people delight in stupid physical quirks that add character to people’s normally dull and robotic appearances. Unless we can all afford cosmetic surgery you will be living in an ugly world by your standards.
October 12, 2006
At 3:04 pm mellen said:
Those big “clod hopper” feet. LOL.
October 25, 2006
At 11:04 am Jeffers said:
Today, Paris walked out of jail after serving only 3 days (and getting credit for 5!!!) Sje joins the ranks of OJ Simpsom and George W. Bush as America’s current national cartoon. What a sorry excuse for a human being! What a potent symbol of (almost) everything wrong with American life! She is a vapid rich cretin who springs to prominence (!) on the basis of a sex tape and then remains in the public eye as a drunk — an exhibitionistic in a way who goes beyond the everyday sluts and hos of contemporary popular culture. She is the Trash Princess, as vulgar as Bart Simpson and dressed in T-shirts that say “Got Blow?” Tacky. Pepto-Bismol pink hoodies and matching shoes, and underwear that she notoriously neglects to wear. She’s like the Addams family, in pink: a “tramp,” “tart,” “slut,” “skank,” “skanktron,” “nonentity,” “rich white trash,” “no-talent,” “brainless hussy,” “hotel heirhead,” “celebutard” who does spiritual harm to the culture and, as such, she is a vague but palpable blight. How can anyone be this stupid?
June 7, 2007
At 10:50 pm Talonfeather said:
Even tho she’s back in prison, ever wonder what she and the sheriff got up to to be released after 3 days
June 19, 2007
At 9:17 am Sissa Pissa said:
i love paris hilton and anyone who would make fun of her,… or anyone for that matter, is just roud! you can email me at abercrombiegirl_1952@hotmail.com. there is absolutly no reason why anybody should make fun of someone because you dont know how bad that person could be hurting inside and maybe you should give people a break sometimes or maybe even all the time because you never know how much you change and much more people would look at you and say “WOW maybe she is a nice person after all” and you never know you could make some friends . but just remember that not everything comes with a comment, but when you make fun of someone you have one and that looks bad!
xoxoxoxo
always ans forever,
Carrisa
June 27, 2007