Filed under: Madonna, Madonna Art, Tom Cruise
Madonna and Tom Cruise are two of the entertainment industry’s most vocal religious zealots. According the the Drudge Report, Madonna says”we’re all going to hell” if we don’t change our “wicked behavior”, andthat we are “enslaved… by the material world.” She doesn’t explainhow she’s going to get rid of her own trappings of the material world.What is she going to do with her expensive designer wardrobe, herluxury autos, her $500 beauty creams, or her several mansions?According to her logic, she better get rid of them all or else Crazy Old Aunt Esther is going to end up having eternal afternoon tea with Beelzebub.
The Scientologists don’t like it when you talk about their secret “hidden truths” of the universe. They don’t want you to knowabout Xenu, the evil ruler of the galaxy who kidnapped billions ofunfortunate souls and transported them in DC-10 space planes forimprisonment in Earth’s volcanoes about 75 million years ago. L. RonHubbard himself wrote of his memories of being an intergalactic walrus who fell out of a spaceship. Science fiction or true religion? You decide. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is likely to go down in history as that Hollywood nutcase who jumped all over Oprah’s couch instead of being known for his movie career. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!Gallery Announcement: If you’re in Seattle on November 3, don’t miss the opening of Crime Scene at SOIL Art Gallery. I’ll be showing my painting of David Gest and Liza Minelli. Scandal!
Posted by 14 ♦ October 31, 2005
At 9:41 am Lynda said:
I think we have a new Halloween tradition! Gallery of the Absurd line-up of always nutty, semi-criminal celebrities. Don’t ever stop.
Your biggest fan,
Lynda
delight.com
hipstercards.com
October 31, 2005
misscalada
At 11:32 am misscalada said:
Incredible! May I ask, what mediums did you use here? The background on Tom looks like a rubbing.
your biggest fan,
miss c
October 31, 2005
At 11:48 am Long Island Irish said:
LOL that is brillant! Saint Tom of Oprah’s couch–classic!
Now there is a guy who has really flipped his lid. To some degree (minor degree) Madonna can make some sense if you catch her on a “good” day plus some of her older music isn’t so bad. Tom, on the other hand, is a truely sad case–there never was any hope for him. Katie Holmes should be taken out and shot–she got pregnant by him! She’s actually going to bring a child into this madness! Let’s just hope they don’t name the poor kid “Xenu 2″.
October 31, 2005
At 12:01 pm MrBigBoy said:
Love your work. I now the Soil Gallery in Seattle. Will you be there?
October 31, 2005
At 12:22 pm Filter said:
I love that walrus.
October 31, 2005
At 12:58 pm TheIdleReceptionist said:
Great masks and congrats on getting into SOIL! I will be in Seattle during Thanksgiving, will the showing still be there?
Also T-Crizzle is such a fucking nutjob. Forget snatching Kat(i)e from all bounds of reality, reading that Wikipedia Scientology entry made me want to laugh out loud at any intelligent, self respecting person believing anything a senile/Schizophrenic windbag pulls out of his ASS like that. XENU? THETANS? INTERGALLACTIC WALRUS?????
Ok, I have a religion. No, seriously its totally legit. Purple monkeys from Venus are arriving on celestial beer bottles to come save us all from acid rain. You don’t believe me?? Well then *why* would Zarg fly ALLLLL the way from the Crab Nebula in his space pod to appear in my cereal bowl and *tell* me. You think he’d do all that just to *lie* to me??? Your loss, folks…At least *I* have a celestial beer bottle ticket outta here, man.
October 31, 2005
Damien Morgan
At 1:34 pm Damien Morgan said:
Is it possible that Madonna and Tom will soon form a new church. We could worship at a tin foil covered alter, ‘like a virgin’ playing in the background - than go to work on the inter-planetary commications array on Toms car - Katie will be passing out cookies and sun cream.
October 31, 2005
At 1:56 pm Brie said:
Excellent masks 14! Happy halloween!
October 31, 2005
At 2:34 pm Chansmom said:
Loved the Tom Cruise potrait. The walrus really made me laugh. Elron was one nutty dude. He even claimed to have gone to heaven to have a look around. What a weird f@#k!
You rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 31, 2005
At 2:58 pm Natasha said:
There are a lot of weirdos out there, especially in Hollywood. 14, I have to admit that my favorite painting of your Halloween special is the Jackie Stallone one… that woman is abnormally, overly eccentric (telepathic messages from her dogs from the spirit world???) WHAT? if she hears voices then she must be a schizo, she urgently needs to see a psychiatrist, the same goes for MR. CRUISE. I used to like him but after all his Scientology crap, how he’s trying so hard to impose his beliefs into others, so much that he’s literally shoving it up everybody else’s’ assholes. Advice to Katie: What are thinking??? run for the sake of your well being! it’s not worth giving your youth to that nutcase of Tom!
October 31, 2005
At 3:08 pm Morrigan said:
Happy Halloweenie, all!
Thanks for the scarrry masks! St. Tom will be giving me nightmares for the next few weeks. Wish I could be at the opening, congrats, 14!
October 31, 2005
At 3:30 pm JJ said:
hahahahhahaha intergalactic walrus… oh my god — not to be compeltely cliche yet again but this site is THE BEST! :)))
October 31, 2005
At 3:34 pm blah said:
madonna is the “material girl” i thought
what a hypocrite
her ego is as big as that gap in her teeth
October 31, 2005
At 3:41 pm Molly Crabapple said:
Wow, these are so cruel. Yet so delightful.
I have the feeling I’ll be killing much time here
October 31, 2005
At 4:16 pm Bubbles said:
Ha! I love how you captured Tom’s bulbous nose and freaky eyebrows. Seriously, if I ever met him in a dark alley I would wet myself from terror.
October 31, 2005
At 5:06 pm Melissa said:
HS—Saint Tom is really scary
October 31, 2005
At 5:15 pm Ilsa said:
Glad I wasn’t the only one who noticed the intergalactic walrus. I don’t know why it’s so funny, but it is. As always, the brilliant hideousness of your artwork makes me laugh a ton. Happy Halloween.
October 31, 2005
At 11:00 pm Demon Kitty said:
It’s so funny, I can’t even laugh. I love their crinkled up noses. I wish all these overrated celebrities who take themselves so seriously could see your art. Then they would realize that someone has seen right into their souls! I hate Madonna. I am so sick of her! I hate the way she sells herself as this Pop Culture LIFESTYLE Icon. One minute she’s photographing herself with a mirror in her crotch and the next minute it is Mr. Peabody’s English Roses and Apples and all her bullshit. Too bad I live so far away from Seattle or I would go see that show!
So Much Love,
Demon Kitty
October 31, 2005
At 5:07 am Cath said:
You must’ve caught Madge’s image right when she caught her children watching TV!
Mr. Cruise…what a whack job. Perfect rendition, although the mask should’ve come with a bonus bottle of vitamins.
November 1, 2005
At 8:14 am DonnaJEM said:
Wow 14, these 2 are probably your best yet.
I have never been on board with Madonna. And that fake english accent just makes her more irritating.
And TC? Friggen Yikes.
Didn’t KatieKat say she’d stay a virgin until she got married? Now she’s infected with an alien love child from Xenu.
Maybe Madonna is right.
November 1, 2005
14
At 9:09 am 14 said:
Thanks for your comments everyone!
No, I won’t be in Seattle for the SOIL opening. Drats!
Mediums
The Saint Tom background was painted with transparent Golden Fluid acrylics on top of an embossed metallic paper. I generally use acrylics with many layers of medium, but am moving more toward oils now and in the future. I also use lots and lots of technical pens and FW inks.
November 1, 2005
At 11:12 am hey said:
Good caricature, But I love Tom Cruise face, his eyebrows and nose are very manly.
Devil is sexy.
Though, the devil is not Tom but Miscavidge…
November 1, 2005
At 2:22 pm Andrea said:
Ahhhh, I feel better now. You have saved me the trouble of hating these foolish Self-Worshiping kooks. how hypocritical can one be? Talking about relinquishing attachments to the Material World, (hey, wasn’t that like, her NAME?)
and at the same time using every trick God gave them to promote themselves…What about Guy Ritchie and Katie Holmes run away together? They both seem so mild-or maybe it is just next to the insane flourscent light-bulbs they live next to.
I have always disliked Tom. He exudes a phoney-baloney-ness, and I have never, ever, heard him be funny, and THAT is a crime!!!
Thou Shalt Not Take Thyself Too Seriously.
Merci Buckets, mademoiselle 14.
November 1, 2005
At 4:19 pm Manuela said:
(sing along now…)
I’m just a Kaballian girl living in a Kaballian world.
liv-ing in a Kaballian world
liv-ing in a Kaballian world
Kaballian
liv-ing in a Kaballian world
See… that really just doesn’t work at all, now does it?
November 1, 2005
At 8:59 pm Christi said:
Just wonderful as always! I know that these are masks, but I have to say that Madonna’s looks in a way like it is showing the inside of her head which is, of course, empty. This chick was not too great looking when she was young, but boy, she is NOT aging well at all.
And thanks for the Loony-tune of Loony -Tom and the lesson on Scientology. Before this I didn’t know HE was the Walrus! (I thought it was Paul)
November 1, 2005
The Vermillion Un-Frida
At 9:14 pm The Vermillion Un-Frida said:
Thank you for drawing the Holy Roman Flounder…can you Catholics take her back now, please? Us Jews don’t want her. Serious.
November 1, 2005
At 2:33 am Natasha said:
I just met a publicist that knows Tom Cruise in person. She told me that a lot of celebrties in Hollywood know that Tom Cruise kind of swings towards “that” other team… she said that Tom has been sexually with men and that the deeply in love with Katie Holmes relationship is actually a way to distract and unclue the media of any suspicion that he’s gay… {ersonally, I think no wonder why the Tom-Kat displays of affection looked kind o fake…
Yes…. there are a lot of in-the-closet fagits in Hollywood that don’t dare to come out.
November 2, 2005
At 8:49 am Dawn (webmiztris) said:
damn, woman, you are GOOD.
November 2, 2005
fINGERfOOD
At 10:17 am fINGERfOOD said:
No Way in Dante’s inferno would we take her back! After the MTV fiasco, cone-boob fad, and the erotica book not to mention the whole self-name Madonna - we, Catholics, have revoked her baptismal vows! You’re stuck with her until she finds the Walrus!
Great Job 14!
November 2, 2005
At 10:29 am Knuckles McGillicutty said:
What’s a “fagit”? I bet they’re scared to come out of the closet cuz no one can spell them. And that hurts a guy.
Really, I don’t get why people get so crazed about the “Tom is gay” stuff. Who cares who he sleeps with, as long as it ain’t thee. Or me. The guy is creepy and empty headed, a young Ronald Reagan smiling wide with nothing inside. I’d think a little “construction worker on fireman” action would be utterly pedestrian compared to the weird darkness goin’ on inside the cranium of Katy Holmes’ baby daddy.
November 2, 2005
At 1:03 pm evil T said:
You are electric. Truly a godess among mortals. Keep ‘em coming.
November 2, 2005
At 2:06 am McGoo said:
LOVE IT!!! Absolutely, this hits the nail right on the head! Great job! Keep ‘em coming!
November 3, 2005
At 8:56 am jenny said:
mabye stupid to ask but do you know who taylor hanson is, you know the mmmbop guy… the one everybody thaught was a girl, haha… it could be really funny to draw him, if you know anything about him… he is adicted to scarves and his last hair due was a mullet… and he likes to flip the burdie, or the middle finger (I’m swedish, if you find anything strange
My english is not so good, hehe) but google taylor hanson, or just ignore me.. I thaugt it was worth a try 
love you’re art by the way! #¤JENNY¤#
November 5, 2005
At 5:58 am Littleoracle said:
Yeah, I used to love Madonna… what a fucking hypocrite. “Now that I rule the world and own everything in it, you shouldn’t want it.” Why is it celebs get rich and all of a sudden are authorities on big issues like religion or politics? Plus, both of them have egos so big that they can’t even come to terms with the fact they sound perfectly ridiculous: Just because religion works for you, doesn’t mean it’s going to work for everyone else.
You’ve captured both of them perfectly! Loved her once, admired her long, now I’d love to smack her. Your portrait does that just fine.
November 7, 2005
At 8:02 am ffleur said:
That Tom mask is so scary. Wish I had it for Halloween. Great work as usual 12.
November 9, 2005
At 7:53 am angie said:
Hi 14…where are you?? I’m missing my daily/weekly dose of your blog. I’m having some withdrawals. Maybe you have more jobs lined up…Yay for you!! But how about throwing us a bone every once in awhile. This “desperate housewife” is getting pretty desperate. OMG!! I sound like I need a job. I’m sorry for ranting and raving…please forgive me. Moving on….
November 10, 2005
At 6:54 am FiveCrowsSilver said:
Dawn, who commented previously, as much as I dislike Madonna, and find her pretentious and crass, she was actually given the name Madonna by her parents. It’s not an unusual name, especially in parts of Canada. (Her mother was of French-Canadian descent.) My veterinarian is named Madonna, as was my former hair stylist, and both are a decade older than Madonna the celebrity.
November 11, 2005
At 9:31 am distressedjeans said:
Once again, awesome work! I love Tom’s gumline. You captured his icky teeth so well.
The Madonna is brilliant, love the dollar sign in the corner.
Your work is always amazing! What talent you have, I am in awe!!
You rock!
xoxo
November 12, 2005
At 4:33 pm sunshine said:
omg… i just found this site and its freakin awesome.its hilarious i love it. ur a mad artist…
love ya work, keep it up
November 17, 2005
At 5:43 pm rachel said:
I like the red Kabbalah bracelet in the bottom right.
November 20, 2005
At 10:46 pm Paws said:
I dont like madonna or tom…madonna,naming urself after something holy and special, then letting people come into ur yard and shoot animals and birds coz they’re annoying…looks like u r going to hell first… DONT KILL THE ANIMALS!! OR THE BIRDs…OR ANYTHING!!!
November 23, 2005
MUTHA
At 3:09 am MUTHA said:
I want you to draw indispensable Metallica for Dot Com Guy.
November 30, 2005
At 7:56 am MJ corder said:
I can’t believe I’m jusy now seeing this. Crack me the hell up - just amazing talent here!!
March 1, 2006
paulie and deedee (not da other girl)
At 2:01 am paulie and deedee (not da other girl) said:
heya just popping in to do a religion project on celebrities and religion!!! man this is informative!!!
paulie loves deedee
deedee doesnt know it yet
but i think she does cuz evryone frickin luvs her man!!!
February 27, 2007
Peta
At 9:50 pm Peta said:
Inter. Galactic. Walrus?
What was that guy using? I think I need a case of it! The old imagination’s not what it used to be. XD
July 3, 2007