Filed under: Kelly Osbourne
For Kelly Osbourne, every day is Halloween. She’s always decked out in wild costumes and dramatic hair styles. She bucks the trend of what most of Hollywood considers "fashionable" and she pays dearly for it. Just about every week, you’ll find her tucked in the "Fashion Disasters" and "Hair Traumas" features of the tabloids. Commenting on Kelly’s hairstyle seen above, In-Touch magazine screeched, "Kelly looks like she’s entering a war zone with that bowl-shaped helmet of hair" and then went on to compare her to Moe from the Three Stooges. When I looked at the picture, I was overcome with the sudden desire to study the field of Mycology.
Boo!
Posted by 14 ♦ October 26, 2005
At 9:32 am Long Island Irish said:
LOL now THAT is funny!!! It’s actually good justice since I think mushrooms have something to do with her current state of mind anyway……
She reminds me of Rosemary Aberdour the famous charity thief. Maybe Kelly idolizes her for some reason…?
October 26, 2005
At 9:50 am Morrigan said:
Ack! I hadn’t seen her new ‘do’. Truly Frightening! Reminds me of the hairdo my mother forced on me in the 70’s. Thanks again for the scares and giggles!
October 26, 2005
At 10:07 am Knuckles McGillicutty said:
This is one of my favorites! Wow! Because yes, I always had a soft spot for those li’l dancing mushrooms in “Fantasia”. Plus I’m just happy a non-skeleton gets some time in the tabloids, even if it’s just for mock. When are these puppies going up for sale? I think she’d look nice next to your immortal Centipede Man picture!
I cracked up at the little picture on the far right; the hubby is currrently reading a biography of Russ Meyer called “Big Bosoms and Square Jaws”, and Kelly’s looking a wee bit Alaina Capri in that last shot…it’s so nice when the youngsters pay tribute to the greats, don’t you think?
October 26, 2005
At 10:16 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
Maybe Kelly, much like the PowerPuff Girls, is made of sugar, spice and a can of whoopass (”Agent X” for TV freindly viewing), only whoever was doing the mixing accidentally bumped into an open jar of “The Beetles” and it all dumped into the mix.
October 26, 2005
Anonymous
At 10:22 am Anonymous said:
its such a shame that she makes herself look ugly instead of unique…
maybe if she stopped wearing cheesy skintight outfits on her short round frame…
October 26, 2005
At 10:54 am me said:
one comment: kelly shroom cap looks too cute which just goes to show how awesome 14’s talent is…the moe visual is a hoot too.
October 26, 2005
At 12:02 pm Natasha said:
That’s genius! great concept of her hair and the mushrooms. I bet she trips so much on ’shrooms that her hairstyle is actually becoming to shape like her Lil’ psychedelic Hawaiian mushrooms. Tripping’ and getting high runs in the Osbourne family. I can’t wait for your other Halloween drawings… will you do another Britney? oh, you have to! she has become the biggest joke…
October 26, 2005
At 12:10 pm kumzooloo said:
Oh, 14, you rule. It’s beautiful. I hope Kelly likes it; she should. Just perfect. Love your mind.
October 26, 2005
At 1:08 pm DonnaJEM said:
Absolute perfection! She always thinks she looks so cool. I’m always shaking my head in disgust. That middle picture looks as if she’s just about to vomit, or just did.
October 26, 2005
At 1:37 pm Johnny Huh? said:
How did you actually make her look better than she does in photos? I believe she dresses like an idiot on purpose to prove that she’s not a sellout or some other mind game trickery.
I give her props for not caring what other people think of her but can she please be put back in the closet so as to not scare the children so often?
October 26, 2005
At 3:04 pm Manuela said:
I’m SO glad you are raising this very serious topic… particularly now that the cool damp days of Autumn are upon us, heralding a bumper crop of mushroom sitings.
If you do indeed come upon a mushroom in the wild… do NOT be tempted to touch it… while the colour, shape, and plain peculiarity of this form may TEMPT you to do so… please step AWAY from the fungus.
What are the symptoms of mushroom poisoning? Early symptoms of mushroom poisoning include feeling sick, stomach cramps, vomiting and watery or bloody diarrhea. Symptoms may show up right after contact with the mushroom, or may appear several hours later. If you have any of these symptoms, call your doctor right away. Your life may depend on it.
SURELY this classifies as grounds for fungicide!
October 26, 2005
At 5:13 pm Madame M said:
AAAAACK!! My stomach actually lurched in a sick way when the page loaded!
I love the way her neck folds of fat blend in with the fungal rings. Priceless. Pass the Lotrimin.
October 26, 2005
At 7:00 pm nephillygirl said:
Oh man, I’ve got tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, I’m still giggling as I write this. Kelly looks she’s auditioning for a role in a John Water’s flick in that last photo. She could be the new Divine. And in the middle photo, she’s got a look on her face like she just got a whiff of her own farts.
October 26, 2005
At 7:29 pm Ilsa said:
Fungicide? AHAHAHAHAH!! Spray some Tilex on it!
This image is so beautifully acurate, that it looks like you used an actual photograph. It’s hardly even a parody, as KO really does look like this with her mushroom do. Yet somehow, it simulaneously repulsed me and made me giggle uncontrollably, as all of your brilliant images do.
October 26, 2005
At 8:08 pm kreine said:
14 - my husband and I love your work. I show him my fave websites now and then and this was his favorite off all sites (not just the gossip).
You know, I don’t really care for the Adams, er Osbornes, but you have such a talent for letting the true colors come through. It’s just like when Marge Bouvier-Simpson painted Mr. Burns!!!
LOVE you for sharing your work with us
I hope that the Great Pumpkin comes for you
October 26, 2005
At 8:56 pm Demon Kitty said:
You’ve totally made my day 14!!! I don’t know of any ’shroom jokes, and was trying to think of some, when I looked at the picture again and immediately realized that her head and mushroom neck are somewhat reminiscent of the head and shaft of a circumcised dick.
Sorry to be so filthy!
So much love,
Demon Kitty
October 26, 2005
At 6:34 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
God, I just have to say this picture should be in, say, your Top 10. The absent look in her eyes, the red spots on the crown of her mushroomy head, the innocent little tertiary mushrooms, jockeying for light under her mop…PRICE. LESS.
October 27, 2005
At 9:29 pm Christi said:
Poor Kelly! Has anyone ever seen this child look happy? What can you expect, I guess…
October 27, 2005
At 1:19 am ffleur said:
This is in your Top 10 my girl 14!
Wouldn’t it be cool if your paintings became popular with the celebrities themselves and they wanted to buy them? I would totally buy a “caricature by 14″ of myself if it was as good as this one.
Jude Law, on the other hand, might not want to buy his snake picture. Cuts a little too close to home methinks.
October 28, 2005
At 4:37 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Oh, Dear God in schoolgirl knickers, do I hate this nasty, hostile, untalented,repulsive, entitlement-brandishing little bonus baby bitch.
The symbolism of the big ’shroom dwarfing all of the smaller, less wealthy pieces of fungus smacks of BRILliance!
BTW, Knuckles, your husband earns BEAUCOUP bonus points for reading the McDonough Russ Meyer bio! Just finished it myself.
Manuela, your brilliant assessment should be REQUIRED reading in every university fungal biology class…
October 28, 2005
At 10:15 am surcie said:
To me, this is one of your funniest ever. Spot-on, baby.
October 29, 2005
At 11:28 am midevil said:
Beautiful!
October 29, 2005
Damien Morgan
At 1:55 pm Damien Morgan said:
Wow I’ve been jonesing to comment on this one - classic 14 you captured her perfectly!! I guess she walked into a Rodeo drive hair dresser and said ‘can you make me look like a freak’n Mushroom please’. Wow Kelly thats alot of hairdos and many more hair don’ts.
October 31, 2005
At 1:39 pm charity said:
kelly totally looks like “something” out of the storybook,alice in wonderland!!you truley captured her esance!great work,keep it up!love ya!
November 5, 2005
At 11:34 pm Christina said:
I have been watching your site for sometime (guess that makes me a stalker/lurker who knows) and this is by far the funniest one yet. I love the title and everything about it. I so want a print if only……..
Brilliant. I would marry you if you were gay and so was I and you said yes.
November 6, 2005
At 11:43 pm alex said:
kelly kelly kelly…. shes truely a mushroom lover!
July 9, 2006
At 5:03 am Distel said:
Goddammit, people, leave Kelly the hell alone. I respect that she doesn’t buckle under the pressure of pop culture, unlike most other celebrty youth.
Yes, I agree that it’s a weird look, but who gives damn about being sexy? Well, Hollywood. But, like someone once said,
“My mom told me you don’t have to be popular or the prettiest. Just be who you are. Don’t do what everybody else is doing. The last thing we need is more Stepford teens. It was great advice.”
January 24, 2007