Filed under: Britney Spears, Britney Spears Art
I played around in my time machine again this weekend and tore a photo from Star Magazine to bring back and show you. Here we have a paparazzi photograph of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline taking their bouncing bundle of joy out for a stroll in the Hollywood Hills. Baby Sean Preston appears to be foaming at the mouth and has stained his face, hands and $800 designer warm up suit with sticky orange Cheeto goo. Mommy Britney looks a bit grossed out by the mess while Daddy Kevin looks on with detached amusement. Britney has just given Kevin a brand new $28,000 watch and he enjoys showing it off while guzzling his 64 oz Big Gulp. I bet there’s Orange Fanta inside that enormous cup….this family appears to enjoy consuming things that are bright orange.
Posted by 14 ♦ September 19, 2005
At 12:02 pm Miss Hollywood said:
Brilliant as always!
September 19, 2005
At 12:16 pm mrbigboy said:
Oh the Queen of White Trash! No matter how much money her ass generates she will always be a skank. Her man is skanky. The poor baby has no chance in hell. Let’s hope she goes the Cournty Love way. Trips to 7-11 are not interesting. Tripping at the 7-11 much more fun. 14 you sure did get the skin color right, Cheeto Tan.
September 19, 2005
Francine
At 1:24 pm Francine said:
Gotta love that Cheet-o goatee!
September 19, 2005
At 1:31 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL that is funny and probably VERY actuate. I feel SOOO sorry for that child, he has no hope. It’s a shame these people were allowed to bring a child into the world. I see a future Michael Jackson here–let’s just hope this union is “blessed” no more!
September 19, 2005
venus
At 1:33 pm venus said:
i love her tongue out of her mouth. that’s art baby!
September 19, 2005
At 1:36 pm TheIdleReceptionist said:
OH. MY. GOD. I almost GUFFAWED outloud at my desk!!! Holy Poo that has to be the funniest one yet, 14!!! Bravo.
I love the zombied out expression of little Preston, probably due to NICOTINE ADDICTION and FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROM from his alkie mom and ashtray dad…
Boy, you really capture K-Fed’s constantly zonked out crackspression to a “T.”
September 19, 2005
At 1:44 pm Teresa Lee said:
I’m nicknaming the baby, Ward. Sooner or later, he’s going to become the ward of the state of California. My guess? 4 years.
September 19, 2005
At 1:52 pm Manuela said:
But where’s the baby’s Mocha Frappucino???
September 19, 2005
me again
At 1:58 pm me again said:
OMG…I just snarfed my big gulp and choked on my cheetos!!!!
Did you send this as a card with her baby gift?
I love the pimp outfit and the fat no make-up Brittany is perfect!! That pricetag on Federswine’s watch is well…priceless.
Again you’ve made my day.
September 19, 2005
Ginger Vitis
At 3:03 pm Ginger Vitis said:
This family IS bright orange! And I love how Brit’s teeth have gone missing. Is this something Kev insisted on for his own comfort, or did they just leave in the night of their own accord?
September 19, 2005
Larry Hagman's Liver
At 4:18 pm Larry Hagman’s Liver said:
Are you sure Brit’s fat, maybe she’s pregnant again? This picture is both hilarious and scary at the same time. Is there anything worse than white trash celebrity? Do you think Kev & Britt have a trailor parked at their mansion, to remind them of the good old days?
September 19, 2005
At 7:19 pm Amanda said:
Poor little baby… they won’t even leave enough money for him to pay for his three day a week visits to the shrink.
September 19, 2005
At 10:16 pm ffleur said:
I love how you made the baby’s eyes wide apart like Mama Brit. And the drool coming out of his mouth and his little red/orange nose. So funny and adorable and right on 14!
September 19, 2005
At 11:24 pm Demon Kitty said:
Looking at these two disgusting human beings just burns up the serotonin in my brain.
I wonder if they have a toilet masquerading as a planter in their front yard?
So much love,
Demon Kitty
September 19, 2005
cherise
At 11:36 pm cherise said:
excellent! I love it - everything right down to the backdrop with the palm trees! A sad, almost black-comedy-like but accurate portrayal of things to come.
September 19, 2005
At 11:51 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Christ flavored with Splenda, I’m running out of superlatives, m’dear! Nowhere else on earth can belly-laughs be found with such a sharp and pointy skewer behind ‘em.
I can just see you agonizing, with your typical attention to detail, over capturing the perfect viscous texture of the neon-cheeto-dust-and-baby-drool paste encrusted on that Spawn’s vacant puss. THAT is genius. Genius, genius, GENIUS!!
September 19, 2005
At 12:14 am Sylvie said:
Oh my God!! You are the best!! This is so hysterical!! All of your work is so great and this is probably so accurate considering these 2 nimrods most likely have no idea how to raise a child and would give him a bag of Cheetos when he starts to cry. Great work!! Keep it up!
September 20, 2005
At 5:59 am mowneek said:
FAS baby? Eeps!
September 20, 2005
At 6:25 am Karla said:
Jeebus! How high is Cletus (aka Kevin)?
September 20, 2005
Anonymous
At 8:21 am Anonymous said:
I love the fact that Brit is STILL not wearing a bra. Good one 14!
September 20, 2005
sder
At 8:26 am sder said:
You’re sick people…You on’t have your own life and you have to write all this bullsh*t for Britney?
You’re so so sad. And someone who did this…just stupid
September 20, 2005
At 8:53 am Zoe said:
Oh you gotta do one on Mariah Carey! In every picture I’ve seen of her she’s suckin in her gut…so how bout drawing her in one of her usual diva poses waving to her public or whatever then in another drawing her ‘relaxing’ at home (in bed?) puffing out air ‘whooooosh’ and she’s bloated up to her actual size of a god forbid size 12! Bahaa. What do you think?
September 20, 2005
At 9:07 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
No, sder,
I think by “on’t,” you meant to type, “don’t.” Just doing your spellcheck for you…
September 20, 2005
At 11:38 am Lou said:
I cannot understand how Britney Spears was a nice girl before she became famous and rich and then after the money came in she became white trash.
September 20, 2005
mishi
At 11:48 am mishi said:
*sigh* they are all so messed up…
September 20, 2005
At 1:02 pm sammy said:
is this the first official photo because it soooo cryable funny
September 20, 2005
At 1:35 pm reeb said:
yea i just love this site and wood (oops) love to see Mariah Carey too!
September 20, 2005
At 2:13 pm kelly said:
Hilarious. I can’t believe how big of a joke Spears has become. Does she have any idea what she’s doing? It’s one thing to not care what people think, but it’s quite another to become a complete slob.
September 20, 2005
At 2:39 pm indigo said:
That is funny!!!
September 20, 2005
At 4:04 pm chansmom said:
Oh my! It isn’t just me thinking those two are completely out of their minds. And to bring a child into the picture is crazy.
I look forward to the day Brit wakes up and sees what a dead-beat she married. Of course sooner, rather than later. She might be bled dry by the guy any minute. I don’t see her making anymore “music”. She’s over.
Loved the work! And yes, you have to do one on Mariah. What a piece of work she’s turning out to be.
September 20, 2005
At 9:03 pm midevil said:
The little baby is scared! Look at ‘em! He’s staring right at the camera, thinking “please get me the fuck out of here!” Does Amnesty International get involved in these situations?
September 20, 2005
Jason
At 9:14 pm Jason said:
I am so worried about their child.
September 20, 2005
Al Pastor
At 3:15 am Al Pastor said:
Chansmom, I belive Britney won’t have any problem making money when She gets back into performing. White Trash or not, She has always been about hard work and blind ambition. The music business post-MTV has NOTHING to do with “Talent” (or “Music”, for that matter). It’s about wanting what they got. Witness Rap “music”, “Reality” TV, Paris Hilton, etc. I predict that one day, Preston Spears will be the most famous person in the world !
If You really think about it, Britneys’ story is rather inspiring. Talent be dammed, She’s never been a Quitter…..
September 21, 2005
At 6:37 am Lisa said:
God, I keep laughing at that expression on Britney’s face. It’s as if she’s saying: “GAAAAHHHHH!” Mid burp, fart and laugh.
September 21, 2005
At 9:39 am William Sellari said:
That is probably the greatest picture I’ve ever seen in my life. Is there anyway to get a large print of it?
September 21, 2005
At 12:40 pm DonnaJEM said:
OMG Britney now looks like Anna Nicole Smiths toothless cousin!!
Ah, little S-Pres with his wide set eyes, orange “extreme nacho” flurb, the PIMP cap. Completely awesome.
Lovin how Britney’s boobies look like they’re down around her naval.
And finally, that sky-high, shat eaten grin on McK-Fed’s mush.
They look like they’re headin to either a party at Def-Jam records, (so Kletus can show off his bling) or a reunion picnic for the orginial cast of The Dukes of Hazzard. (the bag of Cheetos was supposed to be their side dish) Oops.
September 21, 2005
Scarlet Snapdragon
At 1:29 pm Scarlet Snapdragon said:
You know what this site is missing? Tons and tons of self referential stuff; pictures of you and your friends, pictures of you and celebrities, pictures of people with “14″ stickers. Long boring monologues about parties you’ve been to, your lovers’ birthday parties, and the celebs who write about you on their blogs…basically, Sandra Bernhard Syndrome, where you start off funny, making fun of celebrities, and then you become one and you are funny no more.
Oh wait. I’m sorry; I’ve been reading certain other gossip blogs again. I forgot, there are places in cyberspace where it’s not all about the blogger!!!
September 21, 2005
At 2:54 pm Jolly James said:
Damn- too bad they did not live in New Orleans…or Texas…
September 21, 2005
wasabi
At 3:59 pm wasabi said:
Funny as usual! While on the subject of messed up couples with innocent children involved, surely you can find some humor in Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and their whole scene. They arent too pretty to parody!!! How about it, 14?
September 21, 2005
At 4:18 pm Ilsa said:
This picture makes me absolutely nauseous. There is nothing worse than seeing trailer trash with Cheeto dust encrusted in their teeth and fingernails. Love how you’ve captured Britney’s shapeless post-pregnancy body; she looks like a potato sack. And that pointy-nosed, rat-faced K-Fed looks like the biggest scumbag who ever walked the earth.
September 21, 2005
Bob
At 7:22 pm Bob said:
Not sure about the foreground stuff but the background is impressive. Wish you had time to pursue and post art that was less goofball. It is fun seeing someone like yourself with talent lean over and rip one every once in a while, its just too bad we can’t see more.
September 21, 2005
At 8:39 pm wendi said:
SO when is kevin going to get a real job and start supporting his own family? Since he has been with britney all he has done is munched off of her.
September 21, 2005
At 8:59 am The Green Robin said:
You are so freaking talented!!
I love my weekly dose of good animated humor. Thanks and keep up the great work!
September 22, 2005
Damien Morgan
At 3:22 pm Damien Morgan said:
Somewhere in a truly karmic sense a trailer home lays abandoned. Come on you just know somehow, somewhere in the future Kevin will stray - ahhh 14 if only I had your powers of time travel.
September 22, 2005
At 4:38 pm Anony-Mouse said:
Love how Brittney has ZERO teeth.
September 22, 2005
At 6:43 pm Brian said:
14, you are magical.
September 22, 2005
Francine
At 3:55 pm Francine said:
Nothin’ says “class” like a Cheet-o goatee
September 23, 2005
At 7:05 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
love it! you’ve totally captured Kevin’s perpetual ’stoned’ look.
September 23, 2005
At 6:25 am Brian said:
Fantastic work, you’re one of the best caricature artists I’ve ever seen
September 24, 2005
At 4:47 am Megan said:
Britney is a skank what is wrong with her… Kevin loves her money. The kid will hopefully not inherit her big forehead.
October 9, 2005
At 6:13 am dana said:
what sick bored people you are,you should really leave the baby out of your little bored storys.
October 15, 2005
At 12:13 pm alysha said:
this is the funniest thing i’ve seen….ever.
October 16, 2005
At 4:02 pm stephanie beedle said:
I think that people need to back off of Britt because I bet that 70% of people feed there kids snacks and people deserve to enjoy there newborn*****
October 16, 2005
At 5:01 am Natasha said:
I like Britney, she is a down-to-earth, sweet, cheerful girl. Believe it or not guys, the girl has talent, she may not know how to pitch a high note but she is a great dancer and what made her a star was her charisma, sweetness, charm and her great humor. She is not like most Hollywood people, shallow, egocenric, maetrialistic, and superficial. It’s okay to not give importance to what everybody else has tp say but there is a limit. The girl is rotten rich and definitely acts like the Queen of White Trash. She at least has to have some class… there is a limit in showing to the world that you don’t care a damn and become a complete sleazy, stinky
white trash…
and despite all that money…
And about Kevin… he is a lucky guy, the loot, luxuries and all that…
… any guy in his place would leave their girlfriend in a heart beat just to have Britney Spears as a sugar mama… because she is Britney Spears!
And I honestly never liked Kevin for her… she’s way better than that… she could of gotten a much better guy… someone she actually deserves…
The Brit-Kev relationship won’t last too long… Indeed Love is BLIND. Sooner or later, she will realize the skank she chose as a husband and father of her son.
October 23, 2005
At 6:16 pm Melissa said:
All of u people are Jelouse and stupid!!!!!!!! U Idiots
October 23, 2005
violette
At 2:45 am violette said:
pourquoi elle a fait un bebe tous de suite elle aurais du attendre un peu et profiter de sa jeunaisse apres faire un gosse
October 24, 2005
At 1:38 pm ericka said:
OMG!! That is the best ever!! I swear I almost cried!!
October 25, 2005
At 8:10 pm Ladyinred said:
honestly i dont know why all of you keep picking on her kid. hate the mom but the babys just a baby. get real
n grow up
November 2, 2005
At 9:38 am Allison said:
Please let me know if your works are available to buy as prints. I would love to hang this hanging in my game room. It’s awesome!
November 15, 2005
At 11:16 pm matt said:
Seriously, I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks…I fell on the floor for twenty minutes!!! All my housemates had to run in to see what was so funny. And as soon as I got up and read some user comments I laughed even more. The majority of you guys get it and just run with it hilariously.
(oh, by the way, the few of you who thinks she isn’t talentless white trash need to wake up and smell the PR machine that has you dumbfounded! You’re smarter than that! Grow up and take a joke people! Or exit out!)
Anyway, thanks a lot for making me smile! I’ll defend your work any day.
November 15, 2005
At 4:46 am jade said:
I think people should just leave brit and kev and there new baby alone cause there happy and thats all that matters nothing eles so just leave em 2 get on wid there life!luv yaz xxxx
December 4, 2005
At 2:45 am Ele said:
Fabulous! Saw this in the Metro newspaper today and had to put it on my Typepad blog for all my mates to see!
Classic….. try Jodie Marsh!
January 18, 2006
At 8:44 am minji said:
i’m korean
i love her
January 30, 2006
At 11:49 pm amy said:
hey ,
whats ur definition of white trash– ok for a rich celeb guy to marry a non celeb stay at home sweet girl but not for pop
princess britney to hook up with federline?
that is 21st century sex discrimination folks.
would u say she is white trash if post pregnancy she had maintained a great body and belted out a few more hit songs? instead of gaining weight like most women do and dont unfairly get labelled trashy ?
be human guys,she is sweet & silly perhaps, young & maybe a bit of a fool in love–who is not ?
April 13, 2006
kai
At 10:24 pm kai said:
and these people are going to bring another child into the world. i hope they don’t screw up more with the second child. poor sean preston. i feel so bad for him. looks like we’re going to see him on the e! true hollywood story saying what a crappy job his parents did.
May 10, 2006
At 5:34 pm tsarinaamanda said:
She’s white trash. And if anyone thinks we who hate on her are “Jelous”, get a grip. Oh yeah, I am SOOO “jealis” of a fat, functionally illiterate, no talent or class white trailer trash skank with a deadbeat husband, one retarded, ugly kid and another on the way! I definitely want her bloated, lumpy, cellulite ridden, saggy-titted body, bad weave, zit covered orange skin and nicotine stained fingers, that just screams “SEXY”! And K-Fed? I need a man like that! I think I’m gonna go dump my faithful, caring, hard-working, intelligent husband for a serial impregnator with 3 kids at age 28 and another one on the way, a wanna-be rapper that seems to be allergic to working, who looks like he hasn’t bathed in months who will blow all my money on shoes, saggy-assed jeans, pot, cigs, and alcohol. Sure, I’d love to be rich for having absolutely no talent, intelligence or class, but I think I’ll just stick to the old-fashioned way of actually WORKING for my money, not shaking my surgically enhanced T&A all over the place. At least I have a faithful husband who loves me for me, a great, classy family, awesome friends, and a career I can be proud of, unlike poor little Shiatney.
May 13, 2006
At 3:18 pm Megan said:
LEAVE BRITNEY AND HER FAMILY ALONE ARE THEY ALOUD TO LIVE WITH OUT TELLING US EVERYTHING THEY DO… LIKE BRITNEY GOSE TO THE STORE! OMG DONT WE ALL. leave her alone!!!
July 5, 2006
At 12:12 pm chesica said:
YOU ALL NEED TO FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THEN SIT HERE ALL DAY AND FU-KING DISS BRITNEY SPEARS THIS WAY. IN REALITY SHE IS A HUMAN BEING, A PERSON WHO FEELS JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. SO WHAT, SHE MARRIED A LOSER. SHE MADE A MISTAKE. DOESN’T EVERYBODY. YOU ALL NEED TO JUST STOP. YOU DON’T THINK THAT SHE KNOW’S THAT SHE HAS MADE A MISTAKE.LET HER LIVE HER LIFE. DAMN. JUST FU-KING LEAVE HER ALONE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 2, 2006
At 12:01 pm Long Island Irish said:
Well, if anyone ever needs to ask about the intelligence of Britney’s three remaining fans just look at the thoughtful and grammatically amusing comment written above. I think Megan’s post says it all.
December 3, 2006