Filed under: Tara Reid, Tara Reid Art
I spent most of my weekend engaged in time travel. I always kick myself when I forget to bring my digital camera along, but this time I slipped it in my pocket. Traveling through so many hyperdimensional wormholes can really wear a girl out, so I thought I’d stop and get some coffee. The only place open in Los Angeles in the year 2025 was a seedy bar on Sunset, so I walked in, sat at the bar and saw Tara Reid sitting at the other end. I snapped her photo and figured I’d share it with you.
Posted by 14 ♦ September 6, 2005
At 11:50 am Amanda said:
The vagina-like neck is priceless.
September 6, 2005
At 12:21 pm TheIdleReceptionist said:
Wow, I’m surprised that Tara is dressing so modestly…
I guess, no matter how trampy, some people just get tired of flashing The South Pole for all the world to see. Or maybe her joints have deteriorated to the point that drunkenly flailing around sans panties causes her arthritis to flare up.
September 6, 2005
At 12:42 pm Leslie said:
Eerily good. Makes me want to quit smoking and cut down on drinking while I’m at it. Ick.
September 6, 2005
At 12:48 pm Jennifer said:
Damn, that is probably way too close to true. “Shudder”
September 6, 2005
At 12:51 pm Madame M said:
PRICELESS!
Did you catch the absolutely horrible “Taradise” marathon on E! this weekend by any chance? She sounds drunk ALL the time. How is that even possible?
September 6, 2005
At 1:32 pm gia said:
That is perfectly horrific!!
September 6, 2005
At 2:06 pm Snootchie Bootchie said:
Where to start…other than the obviously beautiful mullet.
Here’s to the future *I’m scared”
September 6, 2005
At 2:42 pm NoddingLilith said:
Brilliant, absolutely bloomin brilliant.
September 6, 2005
At 3:00 pm Johnny Chicago said:
Well, it figures. She was one of the first of the late ’90s brand of ’skankasaurus,’ the typical white girl who wants to be ‘hip’ and ‘trendy’ with the token minority friend, all the while sucking cock in the bathrooms of Nobu and draining Hollywood producer’s of their semen and their ideas. Look at that old cunt, she’s so badly altered it’s Picasso-like in it’s horrendousness. Fuck you, Tara. Fuck you to Hell.
September 6, 2005
At 3:15 pm xZx said:
haha meow!!!
September 6, 2005
MFG
At 3:58 pm MFG said:
She kinda reminds me of Madame Medusa from Disney’s “The Rescuers.” Or someone in that style. Like she’s gonna get up and do a semi-groovy gingly-jangly dance before smashing glasses and slurring random threats at shadow people.
September 6, 2005
At 4:06 pm kumzooloo said:
Pure, pure beauty. I am speechless.
September 6, 2005
At 4:13 pm Marissa said:
Just twenty years in the future?
Talk about aging.
September 6, 2005
anonymouse
At 5:02 pm anonymouse said:
i can just imagine what those implant scars look like behind that polka-dot top. saggy frankentits!!!
September 6, 2005
At 5:07 pm industrywhore said:
Come on. She’ll have had three brow lifts and multiple eye jobs by then. She’ll look like every other snipped LA ho with an unmoveable forehead and her eyes pulled back to the sides of her face.
September 6, 2005
At 5:31 pm so what said:
the eyes have it!
September 6, 2005
At 6:02 pm Demon Kitty said:
Looking at her just makes me want to purge that glass of Merlot I knocked back. Your imagination 14, your insight, your perspective … it’s terrifying.
Are you a lesbian? I want to marry you.
So much love, so many metaphysical kisses XXXXX0000000,
Demon Kitty
September 6, 2005
At 6:12 pm I’m A Hater said:
Hey she still looks better than Pee-Wee Herman does now.
September 6, 2005
GG
At 6:22 pm GG said:
My very favorite touch is that she is wearing the very “girly” little dangly star earrings. I know the dress is much too young for her too, but the earrings really stand out. Kudos.
September 6, 2005
At 6:43 pm Annie said:
PLEASE do a “Future of Pamela Anderson” or something similar…she’s another one of the countless simpleminded Hollywood Skanks (like Tara Reid, Paris Hilton, et al) who should be lambasted and ridiculed as often as possible.
September 6, 2005
Anonymous
At 7:50 pm Anonymous said:
Why so mean to Tara? She’s still better looking than you.
September 6, 2005
At 8:28 pm Jon H said:
I think she’d be thinning on top pretty bad, from too much damage to her scalp from hair products.
September 6, 2005
At 8:43 pm midevil said:
Hmmm, yeah, booze’ll do that to ya. Won’t she choke on her own vomit long before 2025, though?
September 6, 2005
At 8:48 pm eddie said:
Wow. That looks awesome.
September 6, 2005
At 9:07 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
Does she have old lady smell? Or is she still too young for that in 20 years?
PS. anonymous: 14 is a fox. Nice try though. And thanks for using your shift key.
September 6, 2005
Morrigan
At 10:05 pm Morrigan said:
Yikes! Makes me never wanna ever drink to excess again…no more smokes, etc. Damn.
I’m not only speechless at this display of your talent, 14. I’m also frightened.
September 6, 2005
At 10:32 pm Gretchen said:
……and we have a missing tooth. PERRRRRFECT!
September 6, 2005
At 1:15 am Yppird Anigav said:
poor Tara, the writing is on the wall…but what you don’t see is that she’s taking a quick break from her job as the cocktail waitress/hostess at that seedy bar.
September 7, 2005
At 6:10 am Barry said:
You should have showed how her coochie would be hanging down to her knees since the self proclaimed queen of skank likes to show it all the time. Freakishly accurate portrait however.
September 7, 2005
mvo
At 6:21 am mvo said:
Once again you’ve got it spot on, spot on!!
September 7, 2005
At 6:37 am kevin Lee Allen said:
ever see the film “Barfly?”
September 7, 2005
At 7:22 am TheIdleReceptionist said:
Oh, why couldn’t you have drawn her with one titty popping out, just for auld lang sine?
September 7, 2005
At 7:45 am Jessica said:
I can’t believe what a wonderful artist you are. I just looked at everything. Not only are you hilarious, your art is awesome.
September 7, 2005
At 8:07 am kerryelisa said:
poor things ciggie is backwards…and her liver/sun spots match her pretty polka dots…the tragedy of it all..
September 7, 2005
At 8:22 am Miss Hollywood said:
I bet she will look like that!
September 7, 2005
At 8:45 am Scout Finch said:
The backwards cigarette is genius. I have to say, if I could have her job, I’d take it. I hear she’s a shoo in to sweep the Train Wreck awards and that she and Courtney Love are looking for apartments together in St. Tropez.
September 7, 2005
At 9:25 am chey espejo said:
I bow before you, master.
Your Kung-fu is the best…
September 7, 2005
At 9:26 am Bowhunter777 said:
Just wondering if while you were there if you happened to snap a picture of yourself and if so why not post it?.
September 7, 2005
14
At 10:13 am 14 said:
I DID take a picture of myself…..but since I’m not a celebrity I went ahead and posted it in my bio. Check it out.
Tara chain smokes cigarettes in 2025, but I’m more of a cigar chompin’ lady.
14
September 7, 2005
At 2:21 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL that is brillant.
September 7, 2005
At 2:27 pm Dasha said:
Oh, I’m sure she’ll get this way much sooner than 2025!
September 7, 2005
beer me
At 2:39 pm beer me said:
Beatiful image. That Tararism Show is amazing. Party pigs have a new leader! I’d definitely do her at 40.
September 7, 2005
fINGERfOOD
At 3:10 pm fINGERfOOD said:
I love the spindly skeleton fingers sprawled out around the glass and the alcoholic baggies around her eyes. You’ve captured the greasy-haired habitual offender in all her uhm…. glory?
September 7, 2005
At 4:44 pm cate said:
um - is this Tara in 20 years or today? She looks like an unmade bed… in a whorehouse
September 7, 2005
At 6:39 pm Ilsa said:
Oh my Gawd, even if the caption did not specify that this was Tara Reid of the future, I would have known that’s who this portrait was of. You’ve got it so dead on accurate, so hideously glorious.
September 7, 2005
eRicA
At 7:09 pm eRicA said:
ha! i love your bio pic. i think drawing Jonathan would be funny too!
September 7, 2005
At 7:16 pm Manuela said:
Since it appears I have been unapologetically remiss in refreshing your blog… I see that I am left down here in the Goolag of commenters… so… I must pay homage to a few of your commenters who have been so much more quick to click on your witty blog, ma cher…
Amanda… vagina neck… you have most certainly offended vaginas everywhere. Were my nether regions ever to look so sadly decrepit…. I would enlist the services of a Gynocological nip-tuck post haste!
Marissa… twenty years in the future?? For this representation to reflect dear Tara twenty years hence… she would have to be a mere eleven today… surely you simply miscalculated, my dear. Post again once you’ve evaluated the math. MWAH!
Frankentits? Once again… I know this is SUCH an easy mistake to make… you see… I’m quite certain that what you see as breasts are ACTUALLY preferated hernias of the colon… again…an entirely forgiveable trompe l’oeil…
Demon Kitty… in your DREAMS my love… for were Quatorze in fact a lesbian… she would most certainly be mine. (Do TRY to keep up…) I do, however, award you points for most excellent taste.
And Jon H… you were soo soo close to the mark! Thinning hair… but of COURSE! Sadly, though… hair product is not nearly the reason… ALTHOUGH… you may be on to something now that I think about it… perhaps once he has finished man-handling her noggin for purposes of angle, pace, and stability… were he to just ever so slightly adjust his trajectory… Yes… one could argue that a protein enriched hair product might indeed be the culprit! WELL DONE!!
September 7, 2005
At 9:19 pm B said:
Vagina like neck - that is my kind of woman! I have this feeling that this is EXACTLY what she’ll look like in 20 years….creppy. Almost enough to make ME stop drinking…but again, the idea of vagina neck i s tantalizing…
September 7, 2005
At 11:00 pm Viper Tetsu said:
The liver-spot-mottled back and puss; the stringy, straw-textured quasi-mullet; that cow-hit-with-a-stun-gun expression intermingled with alcohol-encouraged self-delusion. And those talons that constitute her (probably nicotine-stained) fingers…Painfully, gloriously sublime.If it were in color, it’d be too much hellishness to endure.
It only makes sense that in twenty years, Tara Reid will morph into a cross between Edith Massey from the John Waters movies and Otis the drunk from the old Andy Griffith show–only a lot less funny (unless you continue to draw her, natch).
September 7, 2005
At 2:17 am trish said:
Reminds me a Basset Hound gone bad…Send her a framed copy.
September 8, 2005
At 2:20 am trish said:
Brintney looks a lot like that these days!
September 8, 2005
At 6:30 am matt said:
u are all too hard on her for chrissakes give her a break.
September 8, 2005
At 12:27 pm patrick said:
caption should read “dingos ate my boobies” lol
September 8, 2005
Damien Morgan
At 3:56 pm Damien Morgan said:
Loving it, loving it, loving it.
I can just imagine her, an old chain smoking 24/7 Vegas slot jockey chick. Honestly I’ve said it before, and hey I’ll say it again “shes going to age poorly”
September 8, 2005
Anonymous
At 4:07 pm Anonymous said:
you are pure genius!
September 8, 2005
At 4:16 pm ali said:
hahaha matt apparently is hurt by the comments about his ‘friend’ … aw, we should stop being mean and love tara in all her alcoholic glory *cough* sarcasm *cough*
September 8, 2005
At 8:10 pm dmartin said:
14-
You. rule. my. WORLD.
September 8, 2005
At 8:53 pm Editor, The J.E.I. said:
2025? Dude, she’s totally gonna be dead in three, tops…
September 8, 2005
At 1:34 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
so was her boob hanging out again? and down to her knees this time?
September 9, 2005
At 2:17 pm Linds said:
Your site always makes my day!I’ve linked it!
September 9, 2005
At 7:53 am Kat said:
Found your art on http://www.consumptionjunction.com
Did you enter it? Or did someone else?
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/downloadsnew/cj_48636.jpg
September 11, 2005
At 5:38 pm mooalex said:
Your talent is amazing, 14! To commemorate 9/11, I’ve decided to visit every single blog on my blogroll today. I appreciate the entertainment and enjoyment you provide, and I wish you peace and happiness.
LJ
September 11, 2005
At 4:15 am pliy said:
i wonder u must be awfully perfect never made a mistake in ur life toenjoy lording over others
September 12, 2005
14
At 9:10 am 14 said:
Tara honey….NO, i am very far from perfect, make HUGE mistakes daily and have never “toenjoy lording over others”. At this time, I have chosen to paint GOSSIP. This does not make me superior, a genius or better than anyone else.
run along now kid, u r bothering me.
September 12, 2005
At 1:28 pm tymmac said:
Once a skank, always a skank.
September 12, 2005
At 2:53 pm Wirthy said:
2025? That’s what she looks like now!
September 12, 2005
At 8:24 am elisa said:
One word..o.k..2
Complete Brilliance!!!
love,
elisa
September 13, 2005
At 1:28 pm DonnaJEM said:
Good…..GOD……Almighty.
I too love the vagina like neck, the drippy, skanky hair, and that she’s got a cig dangling, and another in her wrinkled shrivled hand at the ready.
At least you didn’t have to change her posture.
I channle surf by E sometimes and catch some of her show. Taradise my ass. She’s perpetually drunk, sounds like she just gargled glass shards, and I love how she’s always asking where the bar is.
You are a beaut!
September 13, 2005
At 12:14 pm mrbigboy said:
Nice Tara showed for you 2025 birthday party.
September 14, 2005
At 11:10 pm Claire said:
OK … clearly I am out of the loop.
Who the hell is Tara Reid??
She pretty scary, that’s for sure.
September 14, 2005
14
At 11:41 pm 14 said:
Because you don’t know who Tara Reid is….
…..I LOVE YOU!!!!
September 14, 2005
At 8:40 am medeastrawberry345 said:
she will look like that in 2 years. She is the sad mom at the party that wants to be “cool”.
September 15, 2005
At 5:43 pm daisyss said:
That’s TARA-fyingly TARA-ble!!!
September 15, 2005
At 7:31 am ed said:
will someone help this poor child before she destroys herself, Or does reality TV now gives us the slow drunken death of a alcholoic as entertainment!
September 17, 2005
At 7:45 pm matthew said:
she’s TARABLE!!!!
September 17, 2005
At 12:12 pm michal said:
The creping neck and Nicodemus hands from “secret of nihm” are great. actually, I am surprised she aged so well. Have you seen awfulplasticsurgery.com? Her lipo mishap?
September 18, 2005
JESSIE
At 2:09 pm JESSIE said:
HEY!! YA WOW ITS TARA RIED!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOO FUNNY!! AND COOL AND AWSOME! YOU ROCK MY SOX!! LOL
WOW LOL WELP I HOPE YOU ARE DOING OK!!? ME I’VE NEVER EVER BEEN AWSOME!!
WELP I GOTTA NOW! SO I GUESS ILL TTYLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LUV,JESSIE
September 18, 2005
At 10:25 am Susan said:
After seeing this picture in early September I quit smoking after 25 years. The surgeon general needs to put this picture next to his warning on cigarrette packages. It worked for me.
September 23, 2005
At 12:40 pm Bella said:
Did anyone else hear about Tara giving up the sauce? It’s amazing!
October 20, 2005
At 1:37 am Jennifer said:
Hmmm… Bars aren’t open past 2 am in CA anymore……
January 6, 2006
At 10:14 pm ken_afk said:
she is still looking sexy after twenty years . i would love to fuck her ass again like i have done so many times fuk u babe u have great boobs and what an ass
fun fucking u babe
March 13, 2006
At 8:25 am fan2000 said:
great job. I’d have to agree with a previous poster to get back into your time machine and take some pictures of some of their party girls/celebs…I personally can’t wait to start laughing.
May 24, 2006
At 3:14 pm mellen said:
Looks like my mother in law.
October 25, 2006
At 6:54 pm denice said:
she looks like “Hatchet Face” from CRY BABY
June 2, 2007
At 11:51 am Dan said:
This is just awesome, you’ve captured her perfectly. More time machine snapshots!
August 24, 2007