Filed under: Britney Spears, Britney Spears Art
I understand what a grave disappointment it is to all of you that Page Six recently announced Britney Spears will not be posing nude on the cover of Vanity Fair. Rumors were swirling, and the nation’s anticipation was growing feverish. Determined not to let you down, 14 has decided to put Britney on the cover anyway.
Posted by 14 ♦ July 7, 2005
At 12:06 pm Amanda said:
The cellulite just adds so much.
July 7, 2005
At 12:23 pm Martha said:
Best laugh of of the day, another great picture, thank you!
July 7, 2005
At 1:34 pm Sara said:
The White Trash Celebutante strikes again.
July 7, 2005
At 1:50 pm amber said:
oh darling.
that one really is my favorite yet.
the vacant eyes
the curdlike buns…
July 7, 2005
Terri A.
At 2:32 pm Terri A. said:
AHHHHH!!!! My eyes!!!!
July 7, 2005
At 4:15 pm slavo74@ said:
i don’t need to see her ’cause i see right her right now. The catch of the moment is “in the air” with all your talent. I don’t want to see anymore!!!
July 7, 2005
At 6:01 pm ffleur said:
That is fantastic 14! I’ve admired your work silently for awhile now but I had to say WELL DONE!
The wide-spaced,empty eyes, ragged eyeliner, drink permanently clutched in hand, yup, you totally captured Brit!
July 7, 2005
At 6:01 pm Dom said:
But, hilarious as the portrait is, when I’ve stopped hyperventilating, caught my breath, had a glass of water so that I don’t puke my last meal and have finall calmed down, I read the text relating to the other stories in the mag, and I start cacking all over again!
Please send me your nail clippings or a hair or a swab of saliva so that you may be cloned and kept on call here in Australia…
July 7, 2005
jamie
At 6:03 pm jamie said:
so distugting and distasteful what a horrible picture!!!! it really shows her true side… I LOVE IT
July 7, 2005
Anonymous
At 6:52 pm Anonymous said:
her hair looks too clean–otherwise it’s dead on!
Love your work
July 7, 2005
At 9:41 pm Meg said:
You’re just too good!
July 7, 2005
At 10:17 pm kumzooloo said:
You rule, 14. The Britney rendering is obviously a gem but the Karl Rove headline really does it. This one pretty much sums up our great country now doesn’t it? Britney + Karl. True American Heroes. God Bless! Uggghhhhh
July 7, 2005
14
At 10:35 pm 14 said:
Thank you THANK YOU for noticing the Karl Rove detail - you totally got it!!
July 7, 2005
cherise
At 11:45 pm cherise said:
lol… you are so cool, 14!
July 7, 2005
At 1:29 am jessica Han said:
i’m from south korea.
you’re so great.
it’s awesome.
i gotta be your fan.
July 8, 2005
els
At 2:00 am els said:
she needs a cigarette in btn her fingers too!
July 8, 2005
At 4:25 am Dances With Minivans said:
Hi! I love your site & blogrolled you right away. Britney is so well done, has she had a photo taken in the last year without a cup of Starbucks in her hand and a straw in her mouth? But the best was the Johnny Depp comment. My kids won’t go see Willie Wonka because they think he’s M.J.!
July 8, 2005
At 9:30 am Manuela said:
Oh, my! I didn’t know that the Johnny Depp thing was common knowledge… and it goes back to his days here in Vancouver when he was filming 21 Jump Street…
And regarding Britney… Comme Toujours, ma cher… your attention to detail is simply exquisite. The suggestion of burgeoning cellulite… the less than swan-like neck highlighted by a shoulder slump that is haunting in its portrayal of disillusion… these are subtleties that combine to serve as a testament to your continuing brilliance!
MWAH!
July 8, 2005
At 9:49 am DonnaJEM said:
Brilliant as usual 14. Love the little touches - empty gaze from her smudged mascara baggy eyes, lumpy rear-end, and the healthy snacks she’s feeding her unborn. The other headlines are fantastic. How scarry is Johnny Depp in those Willy Wonka previews? Yikes.
July 8, 2005
Brigitte Bardot_On_Speed(s)
At 10:20 am Brigitte Bardot_On_Speed(s) said:
Does she know what’s happening to her body and soul ?
July 8, 2005
At 10:52 am joanna said:
wow this is the rudest thing i have ever seen… people should be wishing thtat they had the money and the body of britney.. u guys are all just jealous cuz ur not millionaires like her or u dont have a baby on the way like her or a husband.. fucking grow up.. britney is so beautiful and just because you are JEALOUS OF HER FAME.. doesnt mean you have to make fun of her.. maybe if she did look that bad it would be funny but thing is she will never ever look like that.. fucking grow up u stupid adults thinking your still a teen. im 18 years old and i aleady think this is really sad!
July 8, 2005
Anonymous
At 12:06 pm Anonymous said:
WOW! dead on….
July 8, 2005
At 12:17 pm Manuela said:
You’ve outdone yourself yet again, my dear!
And hey… did you get my email last week? I was deadly serious about that commissioned piece I mentioned!!
July 8, 2005
At 2:49 pm Kim said:
You are an absolute genius. This website is a riot - I look forward to each and every one of your uploads! You are FABULOUS.
July 8, 2005
Guy
At 3:28 pm Guy said:
Good job. I don’t find it so funny though. A good girl, with a huge heart is often prone to such ridicule. I don’t know, I just do not find the jokes on her so funny. I mean, she was caught with cheetos in her hands twice, and she’s a beautiful girl who finally realized that it’s not all about looks. She’s one of the only celebrities who is down to earth and has her prioroties and morals sorted out. She’s a down to earth, funny and kind person. That’s her TRUE side.
July 8, 2005
At 3:48 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
Dear god, the eroticization of the turkey baster belly…why, lord, why???
I agree this is a nightmare, but not my worst. That would probably involve waking up to Tom Cruise on the neighboring pillow, grinning at me with his Charmingly Crooked Smile(TM), all glistening teeth and twinky insincerity. In the room with us are half a dozen Scientology drones, quietly waiting, like those people in the courts of French kings, for the Royal Deflowering to commence. Or they’re waiting for us to get up so they can escort me to the bathroom, shower, and coffee, not letting me alone for a moment, controlling my every move, feeding me lines for the inquiring press, keeping bad influences like friends and family away, locking me in a disconnected world, all the better to brainwash me…
Oh wait, I’m channeling Katie Holmes again. Dang, I HATE when that happens. I gotta lay off the absinthe and champagne.
July 8, 2005
Cadmium Red
At 4:43 pm Cadmium Red said:
Dude, I can’t believe you haven’t been on BoingBoing yet; you rule!!!
July 8, 2005
At 5:55 pm bbking said:
Why, she is the embodiment of Sarah Bernhardt or, um, Zelda Fitzgerald. Or, well, Deliverance.
You are extremely laugh-making and massively talented.
July 8, 2005
At 7:45 pm missy s said:
wow that is so funny! you are so on with this one..hate to say it though i have two kids and she still looks better than i did prego! but this is so funny! good job!
July 8, 2005
At 8:32 pm Miss Hollywood said:
Wow. This is great.
July 8, 2005
At 11:45 pm farmerbob said:
Hey Ms. 14. I look for your work everyday. You have not dissappointed me yet. You’re cookin with hot oil now!
July 8, 2005
Cami
At 2:25 am Cami said:
You are BRILLIANT!
July 9, 2005
At 11:43 am Wackawacka said:
The only way this overrated trailer trash will ever be on the cover of VF! 14, you rock because you tell it like it is.
Love the posts from her PR team. Try a little harder Leslie Sloane Zelnick. I know it’s hard shining shit, but give it a try.
July 9, 2005
At 5:20 pm Terri said:
And the nightmare gets worse…it is being reported that the Britster is now expecting TWINS! [Runs and hides.]
Wonderful artwork, though! I especially like the Johnny Depp line…I’m glad I’m not the only who thinks his Willy Wonka is pulling a Michael Jackson!
July 9, 2005
At 6:54 pm Viper Tetsu said:
OK: embarrassed myself at work again by snorting like a coke-huffing hyena at this latest masterwork–Fucking hysterical! Again, your ability to capture so many dimensions of vapidity with your skewer o’ wit continues to astonish.
Beaucoup bonus points for the Karl Rove dig. How ’bout putting that Dubya butt monkey on a Vanity Fair cover naked and preggers?
July 9, 2005
Chris
At 8:08 pm Chris said:
I think her little part in Farenheit 911 scarred me for life. The gum snapping, and the idiotic comments. Ugh.
Your picture is like Vitamin E, helping to heal the scars.
July 9, 2005
At 9:13 pm oboreruhito said:
Shouldn’t it be eating for three now?
She’s breeding them faster than we can possibly get rid of them. It’s Aliens man! BURSTING OUT OF THE STOMACHS
July 9, 2005
Nicole
At 9:38 pm Nicole said:
She looks extremely similar to Mena Suvari…coincidence?
July 9, 2005
At 11:29 pm Mdbell79 said:
Very nice blog, both timely and funny. I’ll be back.
July 9, 2005
At 1:39 am Demon Kitty said:
Ew! Ew! Ew!!!!!!
Heh! Heh! It is amazing the way you have captured the essence of all these overrated people!
How many times have I seen her with her hair piled up on top of her head - straw inserted in mouth-sucking down Charbucks with vacant look on her face! Eyes are definitely windows of the soul and there is nothing going on in that head of hers! Please do one of Bradgelina!
So much love,
Demon Kitty
July 11, 2005
britishbrunette
At 6:03 am britishbrunette said:
it kinda makes me feel ill and want a mint mocha frapachino at the same time
July 11, 2005
At 8:20 am Elissa said:
god you guys are loosers, GET A LIFE! Im sure you guys are all fatty’s and big butts.
July 11, 2005
14
At 8:34 am 14 said:
Dear Slim and Trim Elissa,
It’s true! We’re all “loosers” with gigantic butts. How did you know?
UGH, I…..can…..hardly….type…….because….my gigantic……butt…. is…….getting in…..the way…… It’s res%4ting….on my KEYboaRd and…I c a n ‘ t Breathe!!!!
HELP!!!
July 11, 2005
jessica
At 4:22 pm jessica said:
did you know the stupid stupid stupid World of Britney website stole your image without giving you credit? What a bunch of idiots.
July 11, 2005
At 9:31 am Smackdown said:
This is hilarious!! :o)
I think you’re fabulously talented! Keep ‘em coming plz!
July 12, 2005
FingerFood
At 11:55 am FingerFood said:
Wow, I can’t believe people actually think that Britney Spears has morals or a brain for that matter. It’s stunning really. She said, on television in front of a million people, that we should just do whatever the president says and we, the looser gigantic butts, should get a life? If she’s an example of good morals, healthy living and a good spirit I’m really on the wrong road. Someone pass the Starbucks and Cheetos, don’t forget the lech husband, the cigarettes and unprotected sex! Does anyone have the name of Brit’s plastic surgeon? I need my brain sucked out and inserted into my tits!
July 12, 2005
At 1:40 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Hey! Russell Crowe’s gone! Did he hurl a toaster at you or somethin’?
July 12, 2005
At 7:32 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
her ass looks so cellulitey! nice touch!
July 12, 2005
At 7:32 pm Dawn (webmiztris) said:
oooh! and don’t forget - she’s smoking Marlboros for two now too!!
July 12, 2005
At 6:30 am lil’ rabbit said:
I’m lovin’ your attention to detail, like Britney’s *extremely* large neck. Girlfriend has the biggest neck i’ve ever seen on a girl!!! Keep up the good work!!!
July 13, 2005
At 7:30 am jhey said:
YOU ARE THE GREATEST!!!!! marry me
July 13, 2005
At 7:44 am Ignatz said:
You’ve captured the essence of the Louisiana Pop Tart. Why, oh Why is she or any of her kin famous?
btw: what happened to the Russell Crowe endorsed hot sauce? Did he threaten you? Or did you have to give money back to all those who viewed it and said they didn’t like it?
July 13, 2005
Anonymous
At 8:12 am Anonymous said:
Obviously Russell … who? must’ve had a hissy. Russell who?
July 13, 2005
At 9:17 am jessca said:
Yeah, what happened to Russell Crowe? Did he threaten to schedule a hiatus from Fightin’ Round the World to come and kick your ass if you didn’t take the picture down? Well that sucks.
July 13, 2005
At 2:16 pm Bragan said:
I have a feeling that our dear 14 removed the Russell hot sauce because someone criticized it as not being a good caricature of Crowe. 14 responded by essentially agreeing — so maybe she holds herself to high standards. If so, we’re all the better for it.
July 13, 2005
At 11:19 pm karole irene said:
J’aime beaucoup vos caricatures de cette Amerique, votre crayon acere, votre oeil vif!
Great work!
One of the best dream to come true…, is, you, continuing to sharpen your vibrant eye!
Merci, karole irene.
July 13, 2005
At 12:41 am Em said:
This made me feel a whole lot better. I’ve just ranted about Britney in my last post.
July 14, 2005
Anonymous
At 4:01 pm Anonymous said:
I don’t think the “Karl Rove” headline was meant as a dig at Mr. Rove; it’s more likely a parody of Vanity Fair, since it’s just the sort of thing that the magazine would publish. (VF is unabashedly left-wing,remember…)
July 14, 2005
At 5:57 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
Unabashedly left wing. You say that like it’s a *bad* thing.
July 16, 2005
cherise
At 1:43 am cherise said:
I just had to comment again on revisiting your site and seeing Britney & your vanity fair cover.
Why don’t you start a “cover” series where you draw celebs on covers of gossip mags, like this one you did of britney? It would be a hoot!!
July 17, 2005
At 7:54 pm Jodi said:
Smashing, as always. Thank you for not body-painting her a la Demi Moore circa *whenever*.
I don’t know what made me “LOL” (for real) more: your rendering, your response to “Slim and Trim Elissa”, Elissa’s poorly written comment (the already ridiculed “looser”, but also “fatty’s” … precious!), or Finger Food’s comment about sucking her brain out and inserting it into her tits.
I suppose, as the kidz may still be saying these days, “It’s all good.”
BEYOND good.
July 17, 2005
TSB
At 7:04 pm TSB said:
Awesome picture…but what really made me laugh was the image of 14’s gigantic ass slowly inflating and impeding her typing.
“joanna” = Sean Penn in disguise
July 19, 2005
At 8:35 am angela said:
I thought that britney spears was a beautiful girl until i seen her now. She let her image go to waste. Even before she got pregnant there was pictures of her looking like trash. If you have all the money you should at least act like you have class. But then again all the money in the world wont give her class. I am not jealous i am married and i dont need money to make me look good. I hope her baby doesnt follow her moms footsteps. I hope all that smoking doesnt give her lung cancer.
July 21, 2005
At 8:58 pm kumzooloo said:
OMG 14, my huge phat looser ass is jiggling uncontrollably with giggly joy at all of these posts. Godamn grrrl, I can’t wait to see your humongous wiggly keyboard-encompassing can one of these days if you ever come back ‘up here’ again, (please!) Keep it up, “fatt looser”!
-Goat Girl
July 22, 2005
Lucy
At 4:23 am Lucy said:
For the people saying that we’re just jealous and we’re all fat and that Britney is a beautiful girl: Shut up. Britney Spears is unattractive. Have you ever seen pictures of her without makeup? Airbrushing and makeup does wonders for the girl. And stop assuming that everyone who hates your hero is fat and jealous and what have you. No, we aren’t. Great picture, by the way. It captures the essence of Britney/Brandine Spears.
July 30, 2005
Anonymous
At 8:19 am Anonymous said:
omg lol
August 11, 2005
At 1:03 pm kerryelisa said:
the droopy eye gets me everytime i admire this portrait..reminds me of sloth from goonies..se magnifique
August 12, 2005
At 1:39 pm Long Island Irish said:
I know what Lucy means, without her makeup Britney Spears looks like something out of The Weekly World News!
September 19, 2005
At 8:15 am Bella said:
I wonder if Brit and K.Fed know they’re a big joke to everyone?
October 8, 2005
At 2:36 pm Gemmsy said:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA genius
January 18, 2006
At 9:40 pm Leelee said:
this is just great! i laughed sooo hard! thax! this is great beacuase i think that britney gets less and less fans every day and i think that everone here knows that the only good thing about her is her fantasy perfume!lol!
January 30, 2006
v
At 10:07 am v said:
Britney’s stupid fans really get on my nerves, no one is jealous of that fat ugly talentless whore.
If you don’t like it, then don’t come here.
OMG I love it, you got those lope-sided ugly eyes right again LOL
March 2, 2006
At 8:18 am Teka said:
Olha.
Eu não falo ingles, mais quero que saiba que adorei o seu site.
tá muito legal mesmo!!!!!!
principalmente este da britney.
Fantastico…
kisses
April 6, 2006
Anonymous
At 6:36 pm Anonymous said:
Prophetic. Woah.
July 1, 2006
At 2:52 pm Anonymous said:
i LOVE it.
October 3, 2006
Taylor Anne
At 12:48 am Taylor Anne said:
personally i think you all must be pretty shallow and insecure to be wasting your time finding all the faults in britney spears, just cos shes an icon whom everyone knows.. if someone posted a stupid picture capturing your best bits, well, let me just say it would be an absolute laugh. britney is beautiful in her own way and doesnt need the disgust of you people bagging her out..and her eyes arent “vacant” theyre very sultry and gorgeous, next time id like to see u lot getting a photo taken of urselves on ahot day, mascara running down ur face without realising and pigging out on ur fav foods..u all disgust me
October 18, 2006
At 7:50 am Guille14 said:
I AGREE WITH U TAYLOR ANNE, THIS 14 IS JUST TRYING TO GET SOME ATTENTION BECAUSE HE OR SHE KNOWS THAT HE OR SHE WILL NOT BE LIKE BRITNEY. IF U ALL HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE STUPID THINGS ABOUT HER, THIS MEANS THAT U GUYS ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT HER THAT U NEED TO SAY SOMETHING, EVENTHOUGH IS JUST SO STUPID. And by the way, “V” u r just so stupid in ur comment, because u r admiting that u like BRITNEY ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, U BITCH!!!!!!
November 4, 2006
At 2:30 pm Long Island Irish said:
LOL good one 14 but Britney’s hair hasn’t looked this good in a long time.
December 4, 2006
At 1:06 pm Tanya said:
Hey to all over the world,Not a huge fan of Britney Spears but I have respect for her.Some of her songs are catchy,and her hair looks good in brown better then blonde makes her look more mature and skin tones look better.Her voice needs to be improved.She does dress revealing but whats the fuss about.Celebs are only human just like us.It would be nice if Britney Spears to take a break from from music world and fame then maybe she look after her babies properly then come back fresh to music world.Im 18 years old from Nova Scotia canada.Your website is a put down.,thats not cool.But I do think you should be a cartoonist honestly thats what I do give you credit for.Feel free to delete my comments if you dont like them.If anyone is interested in talking to an open minded and outgoing girl like me feel free to email me.Thats all I have to say!!!
Tanya
peace and love Tanya around the world
November 25, 2007