Filed under: Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise Art
I was flipping through In Touch magazine and came across a photo of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes that gave me the willies…so of course I had to paint it immediately. The accompanying article speculated whether they were really in love or if this was just another Hollywood publicity stunt. Truly an enigmatic riddle to contemplate for hours upon hours. UPDATE: The riddle is solved - they’re engaged. I shall paint their wedding portrait immediately.
Posted by 14 ♦ June 16, 2005
At 2:53 pm lynda said:
humm, aren’t devil horns and platform shoes evils that Scientology bans? You captured perfectly Katie’s blend of fear and surprise and Tom’s crafty craziness.
lynda
hipstercards.com
June 16, 2005
At 2:54 pm GRETCHEN said:
What no Herpes?
June 16, 2005
At 3:01 pm Jess said:
GENIUS!
June 16, 2005
At 3:31 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
There is so much evil in the world…
June 16, 2005
MFG
At 8:30 pm MFG said:
You truly have an eye for detail. Proof: the accurate depiction of Katie’s frightening feet.
June 16, 2005
At 9:34 pm Mo said:
I’ve always hated the way Tom Cruise laughs. Drives me crazy with that evil cackle and scrunched up nose thing goin’ on. You captured it beeee-you-tifully! Lurve the picture…..
June 16, 2005
At 7:33 am DonnaJEM said:
I remember lovin Tom Cruise in the 80’s, the whole Top Gun kissy scene with Kelly McGillis, sigh….
Now he’s just seems scarry and dee-ranged. The only thing good/funny about him now is when Ben Stiller does impressions of him.
Poor poor Katie. Run girl…..run like the wind.
June 17, 2005
At 7:36 am Patrick Fitzgerald said:
Wonderful! We just need one of him scaling the Eiffel Tower (shades of “King Kong”) with his new finance.
June 17, 2005
At 7:52 am Jeff said:
Brilliant!
June 17, 2005
LiquidPixel
At 10:52 am LiquidPixel said:
Great, as usual! Tom’s face reflects all his crazines.
June 17, 2005
Sammie
At 12:49 pm Sammie said:
Hey, they’re engaged now! Yikes :-\
June 17, 2005
At 1:08 pm Maggie said:
I saw Katie at Balthazar in NYC about a month before Tom kidnapped her. I mention this because she was drinking wine, and now the girl probably can’t even have a drink or else her weird scientologist assistant will stuff her in a sauna to sweat out the toxins. What happened to our sweet little JOey?
June 17, 2005
At 2:34 pm Marina said:
LOVE the devil tail subtly posed to imply Ms. Holmes’ imminent violation.
June 17, 2005
Anonymous
At 2:41 pm Anonymous said:
http://misanthropic_circle.blogs.com/the_misanthropic_circle/
June 17, 2005
At 2:51 pm Use Once & Destroy said:
I saw the new Batman movie the other night, and Katie Holmes was giving Batman some dumbfuck self-righteous lecture about some stupid fucking thing, and all I could think was, “Get off your high horse, bitch, you’re bearding Tom Cruise.” Also, “She has really nice breasts.” She spends a lot of time on her back in that movie, which really shaped her rack nicely. Someone told me her breasts were fake — is that true? Fucking Scientology. Why don’t they call it Religionology or something equally as retarded. Anyway, Batman totally rocked. Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow is far hotter than Katie will ever be. And to think I was feeling protective of her. You fucked up, Katie. Real bad.
June 17, 2005
At 5:18 pm Viper Tetsu said:
Her glazed, slightly bovine, it’s-too-late-for-me-to-back-out-now eyes; his smarmy, lugubrious grin;the atmosphere of cynical soul-selling publicity-sucking calculation (and bearding) wafting around this whole union; you’ve captured it all. This illo is so fucking perfect…
If I loved humanity as much as I detest Tom Cruise, I’d make Mother Teresa look like Adolf fucking Hitler; that’s how deep my hatred of this mediocre little smarmoid runs. Why do good directors continue to hire him? Why do otherwise sensible women (and men) find his fratboy rodent visage so hot?!? News Flash, world–the Li’l Emperor HAS NO FUCKING CLOTHES!
In every post-’Tom-Kat’ (there’s a phrase that makes me wanna pound someone with a 2 x 4 big time)interview and photo, Katie Holmes looks like a frightened fawn. Or like the nice girl who’s too sheepish to own up to the fact that the guy she’s dating is a goddamn lunatic, and SHE SHOULD RUN LIKE FUCK THE OTHER WAY. As an actress and in general,Katie’s just bland beige wallpaper to these jaded eyes. But she deserves better than Grinning Rubber-Room-Ready Scientology Midget Devil Boy.
Thank you, dear 14, for your invaluable public service.
June 17, 2005
At 5:50 pm Gabriel said:
Ick. The madness continues unabated. But I must say I truly enjoyed the horned Cruise of your painting!
Gabriel
Feel the pain at
http://www.WearingTheseChains.com
June 17, 2005
At 8:29 pm Sweet Pea said:
Madness I tell you! madness. (Shameless ‘Friends’ rip off, so unoriginal I am)
June 17, 2005
At 9:08 pm Christie said:
I just discovered your site and had to look at all of the pictures right away. As all the comments say, you are fantastic! I can’t believe you are giving this away, people as talented as you are should be published. I can’t decide which was funnier, but I nearly wet myself when I saw the Olsen Twins and Star “Ursula” Jones!
June 17, 2005
At 7:24 am Carrie said:
Awesome! You are fantastic…you should write a book.
June 18, 2005
Thomas
At 12:43 pm Thomas said:
Tom is like one In Touch cover away from being the new Michael Jackson. How many nosedives can our A List suffer from similar malady?
June 18, 2005
At 1:09 pm joey said:
Strange. Tom in this picture is exactly as Elron described Xenu. Are you an SP? Are you?! I need my vitamins.
June 18, 2005
At 1:34 pm Brian said:
“It’s beautiful, man! Fuckin’ beautiful!”
-Tom Cruise is “Taps”
June 18, 2005
Sophist
At 2:04 pm Sophist said:
Wow. As far as visions of hell go, Hieronymus Bosch ain’t got nothing on you.
June 18, 2005
At 3:47 pm greta said:
The fact that this celebrity has diverted our attentions to more important matters that are happening to the world (extreme poverty, war etc.) really makes him a tool of evil.
June 18, 2005
At 8:18 pm Carrie said:
You got Tom Cruise’s evil grin down — it scared my Body Thetans.
June 18, 2005
cherise
At 10:35 pm cherise said:
aw, you left out katie’s mouth herpes sores…
June 18, 2005
At 11:13 pm kat said:
Tom has a Howard Dean-ish quality in your painting - makes me shudder!
June 18, 2005
At 7:39 am Agitprop said:
We should be happy for the newly engaged couple. I heard they will be spending their honeymooon on the spaceship that follows the Hale-Bop Comet. Fun stuff!
June 19, 2005
At 11:17 am JuicyV said:
Thanks for making me laugh so hard I shot iced tea out of my nose. This is true hilarity!
June 19, 2005
Stacey
At 11:26 am Stacey said:
That is so funny-I can’t wait to see more!
June 19, 2005
Anonymous
At 8:46 pm Anonymous said:
Adding to the comment that said you should paint them climbing the eifel tower like king kong… Katie should be king kong and tom should be the little figurine she’s holding in her hand
June 19, 2005
Need a barf bag
At 2:52 am Need a barf bag said:
Brilliant, man. I used to think humpty dumpty Pee Wee Herman was the scariest thing on earth, but now Tom is coming up strong.
June 20, 2005
Anonymous
At 6:00 am Anonymous said:
You forgot to give Holmes that “drooling retard” look she’s always wearing in candid photos.
June 20, 2005
At 6:13 am greta said:
So does everyone now believe that theyre in love? Because Im still cynical about it.
June 20, 2005
At 8:18 am jacob said:
did you mean to point Tom’s tail where it’s pointing? Because if so, you are indeed a mad genius.
June 20, 2005
At 10:23 am Karla said:
HA! Tom has a tooth in the middle of his mouth. Truely a creepy detail. YIKES!
June 20, 2005
Kris
At 10:46 am Kris said:
That’s awesome……Extremely talented.
June 20, 2005
At 11:43 pm SquirtHimAgain said:
Didja SEE that ol’ Tommy got squirted by a stunt microphone?? I can’t WAIT to see what you do with THAT material!
Keep ‘em coming! You rhule!
June 20, 2005
At 8:08 pm Christy said:
Great portrayal of the Mad Scientology actor and his latest “muse”. Don’t you think that it’s interesting that Tom always dumps his women shortly after they turn 30? Note to Katie: Start packing when you turn 30 and don’t be suprised if Tom ends up with his cute little blonde-haired supporting actress in War of the Worlds shortly thereafter…Of course if she only grows up to be his height, that may not be in the cards.
June 21, 2005
At 10:47 pm JJ said:
Tom is absolute perfection here, her stance and feet are also pure gold. But her face is just a *touch* off to where she kind of looks more like Cate Blanchett than herself per se. I can’t wait to see future incarnations though.
You are super mega gamma talented.
June 21, 2005
korean
At 2:06 am korean said:
hello! i’m korean.
In korea, I’ve seen them.
you draw fairly well.
that’s cool.
bye bye ^-^
June 22, 2005
At 5:13 pm crystal said:
Your paintng is genious. However these posters are more than inciteful, they too are brilliant I have enjoyed all.
June 22, 2005
At 6:52 pm John said:
Isnt Tom Cruise gay or bi ? or something?
June 23, 2005
At 8:01 pm Beth said:
To be honest, the tactics of these two are so cliche and overdone in Hollywood. Anyone in the first 6 mos of a relationship will be insanely happy then it wears off. Either that or it’s Zoloft. Okay, that was mean but still…
June 23, 2005
At 8:02 pm lifeonhold said:
What a delicious caricature! How I loathe Tom Cruise. Too bad his presence makes me want to pass on War of the Worlds.
I’m glad I found this site.
June 23, 2005
At 8:20 pm debra said:
Well, looks like he’s made another contract to conceal his true self. For those who want to know why he let’s them free at 30 it’s so they can have a real life, procreate if they chose, and have benefitted from their relationship. How sad…..
June 23, 2005
At 1:08 pm Teacher said:
There is something unbalanced about Tom Cruise. Scientology, medical expertise (where is your degree Tom?), and who are the ladies he snags? Young’uns who haven’t had time to decide what they want in life. No more Ms. Kidman, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Rogers….. He can’t handle a strong woman.
I have no respect for him.
June 24, 2005
At 5:20 pm Knuckles McGillicutty said:
I’m bummed about War of the Worlds, cuz it’s a great story, but the combo of Rat Boy and Spielberg, who saturates his movies in sugar and breederisms, is spelling “not even on video” for the McGillicutty household.
June 24, 2005
At 7:26 pm Beth said:
I so want to see war of the worlds but with him in it…i’d rather swallow broken glass. I saw a portion of the Today Show interview(due to being at work) just a minute ago. What the heck?! Who died and made him all knowing. His microscopic point of view and his ego make him sound like a jerk to the extreme. He seems to think it’s all black and white. he’s right and we’re wrong and ignorant. I don’t think he has the right to talk about brooke’s mental health, and if i were her, i’d be damn mad. I don’t wish bad things on people…I let karma do my dirty work. so karma…get working!
June 24, 2005
At 11:46 pm lisa said:
oh my, I had a dream that Ratboy was the devil..and now I see this photo of someone else’s impression…much too scary but totally accurate.
June 24, 2005
At 7:25 am Cetta said:
Excellent! I love it!
June 25, 2005
Asa
At 6:33 pm Asa said:
I just wanted to let you know your site was reviewed positivly in the pop culture/scene section of my local paper, The Courier Journal. (louisille, ky) They used this image in the paper.
I love your work!
June 25, 2005
At 4:38 pm Jodi said:
Sheer brilliance! Beautifully interpreted and gorgeously rendered!
Katie’s teeth, however, need work — both here and in so-called reality. They’re way snagglier than you depict.
Otherwise, absolute perfection!!!
June 26, 2005
At 10:41 am becky said:
tom cruise is crazy.hollywood marriges don’t last long.do they.
June 27, 2005
At 11:34 pm JEAN said:
FABULOUS!!! NEXT TIME HOWEVER…DON’T FORGET THE HERPES ON HER AND HIM IN DRAG!
June 27, 2005
At 8:47 am Xenu said:
Muhahahha my plan is almost complete!
June 29, 2005
Brigitte Bardot_On_Speed(s)
At 1:43 am Brigitte Bardot_On_Speed(s) said:
And god created Woman.
July 7, 2005
At 10:38 am bing said:
it looks like you copy/pasted the face of tom cruise from a photo, applied effects to it to make it appear drawn, and then crappily drew the rest around it, icluding katie’s face which obviously lacks the detail that tom’s has.
July 7, 2005
14
At 11:05 am 14 said:
Dear Angry Little Mr. Cruise…. have you forgotten to take your meds again? I’m flattered that you think I copied and pasted your photo and then applied effects to make it appear drawn. Thank you!! Now run along and go cry to Xenu.
July 7, 2005
At 9:29 am Aim said:
I like Tom’s platform shoes! Cool pictures!
July 8, 2005
At 11:20 pm L.L. Patterson said:
Sooner or later it will resurface for public scrutiny that Cruise, despite his ‘Manly Man’ Mr. I’m In Control, will validate once more that he is a notorious control freak and will demand that Katie always wear flats or go barefoot. He can’t handle being in the public eye with others who are taller than he. He fancies himself as a Lathario of Love and in time poor Katie will be just another foot note in his copy of Scientology.
July 15, 2005
At 12:47 pm Tim said:
Those aren’t horns… they’re body-thetans!
Quickly! Audit.. Isolate… now run an Instance2 then an Instance1… good little thetan.
July 18, 2005
At 10:29 am Jen said:
If Scientology is supposed to be all it claims, then perhaps it’ll cure Katie of her cold sores. Though, I doubt it. It hasn’t cured Tom of his arrogance.
Great job!
July 24, 2005
I am Madonna's red string
At 1:22 pm I am Madonna’s red string said:
Please, please do something about Kabbala! Crazy hollywood “religions” rock!
July 28, 2005
At 2:31 pm Andrea said:
yeah, but, please do one of the ul-ti-mate ass-kisser OPRAH! for giving him a venue for his narcissitic(sp?)indulgences, validating his little mascarade.
He is soooooo creepy, and she is drawn in by the “Look-what-it-did-for-Nicole” bait…I guess. She is a H’wood property and must strike whilst the iron is, uh, YOUNG::: Nontheless. YOU are brilliant, quatorze, love you!!!!!
August 24, 2005
At 6:22 pm Robin said:
This is exactly what I have been feeling about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s relationship all along. They became engaged practicaly right after they started dating, and now she is pregnant and her belly looks bigger than what it should be at this point supposibly, either she is farther along or its twins, but we’ll see about that. So now that Tom Cruise has bashed Brooke Shields, is Katie Holmes not allowed to get the baby blues? You cannot predict who will get that, how will Tom deal with that or force her not to seek medical help. Katie seems so young and vulnerable when it comes to relationships and having babies, unlike the more experienced, kniving, old, and selfish Tom. We all know that she will regret having him control and push her so fast into an engagement and pregnancy. Tom Cruise used to be so cool and now he thinks he is pretty much god, maybe he is trying to prove himself so bad because he has to compensate for something else much tinier about himself. Katie you can do so much better!!!
October 21, 2005
At 10:17 am TomKatFanNot said:
He is so obnixous lately….she should run while she has the chance!!! He is weirdly out of control!
February 1, 2006
sweetness in LA...
At 10:10 pm sweetness in LA… said:
It is so nice to see people writing so adversely about Mr. Thomas Cruise. I hope it’s about time the truth comes OUT. Cruise is gay. Kidman is gay. Holmes is stupid. I get a kick out of “hollywood”. Does Cruise think the American public is THAT dumb? Who is he kidding? Seems like only himself. God, I wished he’d just come OUT. It’s about time.
May 8, 2006
At 6:22 pm maureen b said:
Is Tom Cruise the Anti-Christ??He just got married in Rome where a Pope(InnocentXVI)lived.He was studying to be a priest!? Now he’s trying to make everyone Martianese! Just a thought!
November 19, 2006
At 7:45 am Faith said:
I’ve read all the comments here and I wonder why everyone who posted has such dislike over Mr. and Mrs. Cruise. If it were a not so famous person no one would say anything.
Just because he professes his love for Katie and beliefs in Scientology doens’t make him a bad person. He is just not afraid to express himself in public.
There are so many blogs nowadays that it just goes to show that people are to express their feelings the normal way. Posting on the internet makes people feel better but doesn’t really matter in real life. It doesn’t change what life really is.
As for me, I’ve always liked Cruise/Holmes. Just because of the publicity the past year it doesn’t change a thing at all.
The pictures are cute but also disrespectful. But then again, you are expressing yourself. Can I see drawings of yourself too??
November 21, 2006